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Most of criminals are notorious offenders - what to do with them?



syamsiahRahim 9 / 15  
Apr 25, 2017   #1
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening and what the measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Criminals are not learning from previous experiences



In this global era, the crime is rampant in the world. Many of crime agents get punishment and make them to enter on prison but after finished their punishment, many of them tend to be commit more crimes. Personally I believe that it happened because the prison level punishment is lack for offender so to kick this problem the government should increase the standard of sentence, such us give death penalty and I think it is the best solution to tackle this problem.

Lacking punishment standard in prison likely happened in some countries, by giving five or six years punishment in jail did not make crime agent giving up to become villain in the second times. The lack of punishment level can make them who tend to be more dangerous because they gathered with the other crime agent and they can learn the other crime skill. A 2008 survey result that the petty crime agent that get sentence in prison, many of them back to the prison in the second time because they committed crime that more highly level than before, I believe that if all first did not result the benefit for villain, it will increase crime rate in the world.

To kick this problem, the government should be make strong policy and make dead penalty is legal punishment for all types of crime that is done by people for two times. Taking South Korea as example, where the people commit corruption should face the dead penalty hence the servant in this country is worried and did not want to commit crime and it make people did not have change to make mistake in the next changes because there is not the second changes for them. I believe this method is more effective than the other ways.

In conclusion, the crime rate will decreased if the death penalty is applied in many countries. I believe that it will make people do not brave to commit crime in the second time. I recommended that this method should be applied in many country of the world.

btho 3 / 4  
Apr 25, 2017   #2
... people less willing to commit crime again.
... be applied in all countries in the world.

Be careful with the grammar, it is quite confusing to read. And I think "crime agent" should not be a word to describe inmates or prisoners or offenders, isn't it?
Anhy chan 12 / 22  
Apr 27, 2017   #3
Hi @syamsiahRahim , As far as I am concern, there are several suggestions for boost your score in writing task 2:
1. Pay attention on your word choosen. Several word you use in this essay seems inappropriate such as :
to enterted you may use arrested on prison but after finished their punishment

prison level punishment ------- Punishment level in prison

many country of the world ----- Many countries, because it is plural

2. The way you put punctuation should be in proper way, for instance, in your first paragraph line 3, you have to put punctuation after term " personally"

3. Pay attention on linking word you choose, this is because it will affect on reader understanding. When you use linking word in inappropriate way, it can appear "misunderstanding" among readers

However, I can say that you have a good progress in writing, I believe you can master this section on condition that you wanna practice more and more.

Keep your spirit up !


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