Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Dark Chocolate Reaps Heart-Healthy Benefits



mem77 62 / 93  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
Most of people think that chocolate brings a lot of disease because it contains have too much fat. However, researchers discovered that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is good for humans' heart. Based on this article, there is two ways that dark chocolate protective against heart disease. The first one is that it restores flexibility to stiffening arteries and the second one it prevents white blood cells from sticking to the insides of blood vessel walls. Dutch scientists made an experiment for 44 year old people, have an overweight problem, and they should ate 70 grams both dark and milk chocolates every day until four weeks period. According to this research, most of people tend to choose dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate because it has a good taste. And also, scientists found that people who often eat dark chocolate are healthier than others. It is because in dark chocolate, it has an organic compound called flavanol which good for humans' heart.

readitenglish.com/read/GirgKT

Hujjatul19 45 / 64  
Nov 11, 2016   #2
Hi Mem, here is some suggestions for you

... because it contains have too much fat.

... and the second one is that it prevents white ...

... experiment for 44 years old people,who have an overweight problem, andthey they should atewere asked to eat 70 grams (...) every day untilduring four- weeks period. According to this researchthe result says that , most of people (...) milk chocolate becausesince it has a good taste.

It is because in dark chocolate, it has an organic compound ...

Best Regards
yurikeyuri 43 / 49  
Nov 14, 2016   #3
Hello, I give you my correction

Most of the people think that chocolate brings a lot of diseasediseases because it contains have too much fat.

Based on this article, there isare two ways (to be must are because it plural noun)

... an experiment for 44 yearyears old people

thank you
Bams17 28 / 38  
Nov 14, 2016   #4
Most of people think that chocolate brings BRING a lot of disease because it contains have too much fat.

( IF THE OBJECT SINGULAR YOU SHOULD USE SINGULAR VERB ALSO EX: I HAVE CANDY, SHE HAS CANDY, THEY HAVE CANDY, DEERS EAT, DEER EATS)

However, researchers discovered that chocolate, especially dark chocolate,CONFUSING SENTENCE is good for humans' heart. ( MAKE IT SIMPLE, REASEARCHERS DISCOVERING THAT DARK CHOCOLATE IS GOOD FOR HUMAN'S HEART)

Based on this article, there is two ways that dark chocolate protective against heart disease.
nurul66 2 / 2  
Nov 14, 2016   #5
Hai @mem77, these are suggestion for your writing

Based on this article (you can mention the title of article)

there isare two ways that dark chocolate protectivecan protect human body against heart disease. (Protective is adjective, there is no verb in the sentence)

The first one is that it restores flexibility to stiffening arteriesof the arteries from stiffening

it has an organic compound called flavanol which is good for humans' heart.
alfinkurnia 33 / 42  
Nov 14, 2016   #6
hello, this is my correction for you.

... >> Most of people think that chocolate brings a lot of diseases because it contains has too much fat.

... >> However, researcher discovered that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is good for human's heart

Based on this article, there is two ways that ...
... from sticking to the insides of blood vessel walls. >> Based on this article, there are two ways that ...
... from sticking to the inside of blood vessel walls.

... eat dark chocolate are healthier than others.
... which good for humans' heart >> ... dark chocolate are more healthy than others.
... flavanol which good for human's heart

thanks


Home / Writing Feedback / Dark Chocolate Reaps Heart-Healthy Benefits
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳