Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


[TOEFL] Deal with the cane toad; Integrated Writing Task



joyhu 9 / 22  
Aug 19, 2013   #1
Can somebody help me with this article, please ????
This is an " Integeated Writing ". But, I don't know how to show the topic of this task since it needs both reading passage and listening part.

So, I simply put my writing here.


In this set of materials, both the reading passage and the lecture are discussing about the population of the cane toad, which is too large and even threaten other small native animals. In fact, what is said in the listening challenges what is stated in the reading. So, the lecturer offers the following three firm reasons to oppose the argument of the reading passage.

The first reason is associated with building a national fence. It is shown in the reading passage that a fence can be used to prevent the cane toad from spreading to other area. However, the lecturer proposes that at some point the young ones and eggs still can flow from one place to another, and she also provides that once the eggs flow out, they will spread to other regions rapidly.

The second reason involves capturing and destroying them by volunteers. The statement held by the writer claims that the number of the cane toad can be easily reduce with the volunteers help. In contrast, it is argued in the listening passage that some untrained volunteers may be harmful to the environment. The lecturer casts doubts upon the reading passage and gives the truth that the original frog looks like the cane toad, especially when they are eggs. In this case, those untrained volunteers may hit the wrong target.

The third reason involves virus. While the passage indicates that the researchers are trying to find out some virus to lower the population of the cane toad, the lecturer points out that virus may also have some bad influence on other original animals. In order to establish a solid and concrete statement, the lecturer convinces us by offering the reasoning that a virus can not only destroy the circle of the environment there but also cause an ecological disaster.

In conclusion, at first glance, the argument in the reading passage seems to be somewhat convincing. However, based on the evidences that the lecturer provided, the lecturer refutes the points made in readings.

shadman19922 21 / 74  
Aug 19, 2013   #2
I don't see any grammatical or spelling problems.

This is an " Integeated Writing ". But, I don't know how to show the topic of this task since it needs both reading passage and listening part.
So, I simply put my writing here.

However, I can't critique the content without the spoken and the reading part of the essay. I think you should post those, regardless of length, if you want a proper critique.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Aug 19, 2013   #3
In this set of materials, both the reading passage and the lecture are discussing about the population of the cane toad, which is too large and even threaten other small native animals.

... this is not grammatically incorrect. But I wish you changed the beginning a little bit;
Both the reading passage and the lecture discuss about alarming growth of cane toad population. While the reading passage discusses three measures to prevent the spread of cane toads, the lecturer challenges all those measures with sound reasoning.

Try this structure;
Introduction
~ General topic presented by the reading passage + lecture's position/reaction
Body Paragraphs
~ 1 Main idea from the lecture + supporting detail
~ Link to the relevant point in the reading passage


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Deal with the cane toad; Integrated Writing Task
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳