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The defametory Cartoons; Beyond Freedom of Speech - insightful suggestions

mahmoud 6 / 3  
May 4, 2008   #1
I bet that you are aware of the latest libellous cartoons that targeted the prophet muhamed ( peace and blessings be upon him).. i need your insightful suggestions in this essay that i wish it to be a proper shield to protect our most admired and revered prophet in a defending compaign

The defametory Cartoons...Beyond Freedom of Speech

History has witnessed a proliferation of crises that were or made superficially cultural or political, but in essence, they were economically motivated. To mention but a few, piles of books have been published and countless programs have been launched to emphasize the belief that the war on Afganistan and Iraq were conducted to serve some giant and influential petroleum companies in the West through having an iron grip on the most significant zones of petrol as well as favouring some of the heftiest and sadist companies of weapons such as General Motors, Bush Master, West Control Specialist...With this undeclared aims deeply born in mind, terms of spreading dimocracy, human rights, freedom of speech, terrorism strife, disrooting dictatorship remain a mere way of camouflage for suspicious aims. In brief, the whole world policy is being ran by some companies through wielding influence on the local governments. In the same vein, Danish companies which supply the whole world with the most needed and significant medicine that is "Ansoline", have grasped this conspiracy theory and went the whole hog. I bet that the printing of the insulting cartoons are instigated and sponsored by those companies because they sought that our anguish and pain caused by those hurting cartoons is a fertile opprtunity to invest in and exploit. Of course, getting nervous as a natural and sincere reaction toward those cartoons either increase or decrease the amount of sugar in the Muslim diabetics which is a not-to-be-sneezed at opprtunity for medical companies to export more medical products to cover the escalating demands for Ansoline in the islamic World. I hope that I have brought you around to my point and that you sense with me that we are living in a harsh and materialistic war where all sorts of weapons are permissible for use, and boycotting the danish product is not a smart weapon to safeguard our revered prophet; instead, Before boycotting the danish products let's try to boycot our anger and pain that give our enemies a gleeful and sadistic pleasure.


EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
May 4, 2008   #2
Good morning!

This essay does make some interesting points; however, it is difficult to follow because it is not very well organized, and there don't seem to be any transitions between your ideas. I am very interested in your opinion here, and look forward to you posting it again. Try to group your statements about each idea together with an introduction, your opinion, and then a quick conclusion before moving on to your next point; this will help keep your readers on your track. There are also some mechanical errors; spelling, punctuation, and grammar, but let's focus on organization first and then move on to mechanics.

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