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Describe an event or experience in the past 2 years that taught you a lesson.


turkeshhan 2 / 2 1  
Aug 26, 2023   #1
QUESTION :

Describe an event or experience in the past 2 years that taught you a lesson.


What was that lesson? What do you do differently now because of this?

My essay:

Between October of 2022 and February of 2023 I was a member of «Green Club» where we actively discussed environmental changes and actionable solutions.

Once, our teacher assigned a group project . As the leader of my group, I encouraged my teammates by giving them tasks they were interested in, planned online meetings for brainstorming. Despite my efforts, my teammates lacked their attention from the project. After completing some parts of the project i sent a link for them to join and tell opinions on it. Unfortunately they deleted half of my work. I contacted with them, I let them know how bad and disappointed i felt, I felt like I failed my duty as the leader. They blamed me saying I shouldn't have started and shouldn't include others, I felt even worse. I cried myself to sleep questioning my leadership that night. The following morning I contacted with my teacher and told her about the situation. In the next session of "Green Club" , our teacher made us apologise to each other.

In March of 2023, we were given only 10 minutes to think of a business idea in my volunteering experience. I saw my teammates who i have just met get stressed because they couldn't think of anything. I thought what i can do about it and I stepped in asking questions each of them and writing the answers myself. I gave each of my teammates parts to talk while presenting.

I understand it is important to show every member is valued and respected. This way, I am able to communicate clearly, be honest, avoid any conflicts and most importantly, work together like a real group. I realise being honest, celebrating others, doing more than asking are one of the best qualities i can hold as a leader.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,976 4812  
Sep 12, 2023   #2
You are missing a transition paragraph in this essay. A reflection discussion should have followed the first paragraph to help transition into the lesson learned with clarity. You cannot jump from one part to the next without that bridge. The overall presentation became unclear and lacking in proper hindsight reflection, which is what the reviewer will be looking for. Without it, the essay is choppy and lacks in proper motivation for you to have done better in your next paragraph. The essay has potential, but needs the additional paragraph for better development and discussion clarity. Do not be so literal next time as to just present responses, look at how those responses can be better connected next time.


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