describing my friends (Putri)

I have a quiet gorgeous friend, her name is Putri. She is having very original indonesian looks with straight long black hair and dark brown eyes. Within 23 July 1993 nowadays she 16 years old and was study on second years at muhammadyah 2 pucang anom. she has a dream want to study overseas in Melbourne Institute of Business and Technology after she finish her senior high school.

On top of that, Putri is shopaholic, moviefreaks and loves traveling. Until one of her day she get very unsual things it's happen, Putri has entered wrong studio when she watched movie at 21 cinema. One last things,Putri want to spend her holiday to go to Bali. She thinks it would be fun and excting vacation in Bali, sitting around the beach, playing around the splash and admire beautiful sunset.

Regrad

Rangga

the essay is very short. I am sure, you have much to write about this girl since she is your friend.
enlarge the content by including additional descriptive sentences about her character and attitude to you and people surrounding her.

She thinks it would be fun and exciting to spend time sitting around the beach, playing around the splash and admire beautiful sunset.

I think theres a faulty parellilism error here.
I think it should be admiring the beautiful sunset.

This is good. I see that Azeri noticed a run-on sentence. If you give one sentence, and it is complete, you need to stop before you write the next one. You have three choices:

I have a quiet, gorgeous friend. Her name is Putri.-------- I used a period to end the sentence and start a new one.
I have a quiet, gorgeous friend; her name is Putri.---The semi-colon acts like a period.
I have a quiet, gorgeous friend, and her name is Putri. ----- You can also make a compound sentence by using a comma and the word "and" (a part of speech that is called a conjunction)

Any of these (above) would be okay.

Here is some discussion of one other part:
On top of that, Putri is a shopaholic, a movie freak, and loves traveling. She recently entered the wrong studio when she watched a movie at 21 cinema. One last thing I'll mention is that Putri wants to spend...

No s if you write about "I" or "you" or "we" or "they"
I want
They want
You want
We want

But use s if it is like this:
He wants
She wants
Putri wants