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TOEFL: keep your old friends or make new friends? I've ever had just few friends


AngelaB 7 / 14  
May 27, 2014   #1
Could you correct my essay? I believe that I write in a too simple way, what do you think?

ESSAY : It is more important to keep you old friends than it is to make new friends.

I've ever had just few friends in all my life. Although I know many people, I really have the friendship of only few of them. In my opinion, it is more important to keep our old friends rather than make new ones. I will explain my position providing examples in order to give my point of view.

First, I am convinced that making new friends is more difficult than before. Nowadays we know many people by using social networks. These contemporary ways of communication allow us to stay in contact with people that live very far from us, for example a person known on holiday. In addition, it is possible to know people, who live in our country with our same hobbies, or people who look attractive in their photos and we add to our "friends" because we hope in something more than a friendly approach. So, due to the fact that we use social networks, it is easier to know people but, at the same time, can we call them "friends"? In my opinion, today we get acquainted with many people but none of them are our friends.

Secondly, I truly believe that old friends really know us because we have shared with them many experiences. Indeed, we are the sum-up of all the events that have happened to us during our lives and only old friends have shared with us joyfully or terrible moments: they were there when we were sad because we broke up with our boyfriend/girlfriend, they were there when we had some familiar problems, they were there when we were happy because we were admitted to the college. They deeply know and love us. Similarly to flowers, which need water to flourish, I think that friends and friendships need loyalty, affection and love to survive for long time. Clearly, we have to take care of our old friends because we can always count on them and they will surely be there if we need help, before anyone else is.

In conclusion, although it is possible to make new friends, I personally prefer to keep my old friends, because of all the reasons mentioned above, namely the difficulty to make new friends in a society based on social networks and the fact that old friends are trusted and reliable people.

niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
May 28, 2014   #2
First, I am convincedbeliev e that making new friends is more difficult than before.
Nowadays we know many people by using social networks.

In addition, it is possible to know people,(remove comma) who live in our country with our same hobbies,orpeople who look attractive in their photos and we can easily add to our "friends" people who look attractive in their photos because we hope in something more than a friendly approach.

In my opinion, today we get acquainted with many people but none of them are our friends.

This will be useless if there's no relevant supporting detail/s. Support your opinion.
dumi 1 / 6,929 1592  
May 30, 2014   #3
Well, you need to improve a lot on your approach for this introduction. I have provided an approach for the intro in many other threads and hope you would find it in this forum. If you don't click on my user name and you'll be navigated to all the threads for which I have provided feedbacks. Pick the ones with TOEFL in their title :)

In short, your intro needs to contain a good hook, introduction to the background of the issue and your opinion on the issue :)


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