TASK 1 - The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks

The diagram illustrates the process of producing carbonated drinks.

Overall, this is obvious that there are five prominent stages in this process, initiating with cleaning raw water and end with packaging carbonated drinks in the bottle and delivery to supermarket.

At the first step of process, raw water is removed impurities by the filter and transfer into the machine which make water become softener and totally purify by chemicals before pump it into electric heaters. At the second stage, purify water is evaporated and carbonation by the electric heaters which convert water from liquid form into vapour and refrigerated through the cooling pipe, the carbon dioxide and water vapour are combined to make carbonated water.

After the carbonated water are piped in to the large mixing tank by a long huge tube, this big tank decide the taste of water by mixing colouring, syrup, flavour. At next stage, the carbonated drinks is filtered by a big machine to fulfill into the bottles or cans.

Finally, the cans and bottles containing the carbonated drinks are packaged into paper cartons and delivered to consumers at supermarkets.

This reporting essay has a very good word count. It will allow you to be considered for a higher writing score overall. The problem, is that you have difficulties in expressing yourself in English, which immediately lowers your LR, C+C, and GRA scores. While the examiner will consider that you are ESL for the most part. It is the confusing presentation of the sentences (sentence structures) that will actually force him to lower your score. Some of your sentences seem to be translated word for word from your original language, which resulted in a confusing explanation for the reader. While it may be understandable in your mother tongue, the translations do not often make sense to a native English speaker like the examiner. When he is confused, your GRA score will be lowered.

I think your essay is quite rigid and some word usage is inappropriate. The introduction is not well-paraphrased and the way of dividing paragraphs is a bit unreasonable.