IELTS Task 1: Diagram on rainwater processing.

collecting and treating rainwater in Australia

Topic: The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town.

The diagram illustrates the process of collecting and treating rainwater so that it can be used as drinking water in households of a town in Australia.

Generally, rainwater is collected through a gutter and drain system. It is then filtered and treated using chemical and distributed to each household as drinking water through pipes.

Each house in the town has gutters installing to its roof. Those gutters are connected with pipes along the side of the house that brings water to the drain underneath. When it rains, rainwater from the roofs is collected into the gutters. It follows the gutters to the pipes and goes down to the drain below.

From the drain, water is brought through a filter to remove any impurities before going to a storage tank. Then, it runs along a pipe to the water treatment system. Here, chemicals are used to process rainwater and the output is drinkable water which is distributed to each household for consumption via another pipe system.

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  IELTSRainwaterDiag.jpg
  

Use more synonyms in the presentation. You still used the original word "town" in the presentation. Alternative words are community, municipality, township, among others. You need to be a wide reader and highly familiar with the English language and how it uses alternative descriptive words in order to do this. Using a thesaurus should help. Use it only during your practice test. You cannot take that to the testing center with you. Try to memorize it if you can.

There is a word choice error when compared to the original. The original said "chemicals", plural form. You said "chemical", singular form. This shows a lack of accuracy in your reporting. Also, you could have used an alternate word such as "cleaning additives". over time, you should be able to identify when your essay score will benefit from a synonym usage in terms of LR considerations. The gutters are already existing so the correct term is "installed". Installing means it is still being attached to the house. Work on your word / action progression knowledge (install, installing, installed).

Ideally, you will score better with 175 words. So increase the word count by writing a maximum of 5 sentences. Never write just 2 sentences per paragraph. While you will meet the minimum word requirement, you won't get a scoring boost from simply meeting the word count or going just a few words over it.

Thank you for your advice, Holt. I revised my essay as follow:

The diagram illustrates the process of collecting and treating rainwater so that it can be used as drinking water in households of a community in Australia. Generally, rainwater is collected through a gutter and drain system. It is then filtered and treated using chemicals and distributed to each family as drinking water through pipes.

Each house in the town has gutters installed to its roof. Those gutters are connected with a pipe along the side of each house. All the pipes are connected to a drain underneath. When it rains, rainwater from the roofs is collected into the gutters. It follows the gutters to the pipes and goes down to the drain below.

From the drain, water runs through a filter so that impurities are removed. After being purified, it is put into a storage tank. From this tank, it is brought to the treatment system via a pipe. Here, cleaning additives are used to process rainwater one more time and the output is drinkable water. This final product is distributed to each household for consumption via another tube system.

Is there any other problem should I pay attention to? I still feel it a little bit wordy and somewhat repetitive as I am not very strong in using synonyms and adhesive devices. Is that a problem that I should work on?

Do not over analyze the essay. Learn how to summarize sets of information in the presentation to avoid being wordy. You do not need to individually explain how the gutter is attached to the homes. Simply indicate that the rainwater passes through a series of home gutters or rain flow pipes attached to home roofs. The synonyms will come from your existing array of English vocabulary. If you want to improve that aspect of your writing, then you have to avoid reading materials that are not in English. Only by familiarizing yourself thoroughly with how the English speakers form their words and sentences will you be able to learn how to use synonyms properly. Reading English news reports can help you somewhat achieve that task. Building your vocabulary to an advanced level is the key to properly working on the task 1 essay. That is because this is a data reporting essay which means academic words and accurate word usage is of vital importance to the analysis you will be presenting. You still have singular - plural formation problems in the essay. Look at the diagram, everything is in plural form. Pipes, not pipe.