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Differences between water consumption in San Diego city and the whole California state



bismillah 15 / 27  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
The charts show the information of average of water consumption in the world compared to two countries;San Diego and California .These figures are compared to three different category places as Residental,Industry and Agriculture.As overall trend,the two countries showed different water consumption from the worldwide average.While processed the water consumption still had largest in residental of San Diego after agriculture .In San Diego ,the highest of water consumption was in Residential between California and Worldwide,acounted 60% from 39% and even ,merely 8%

In california,the highest of the water consumption was in Residential which is as same as in San Diego,which was followed by industry 33% and agriculture 28%.

In the same industry,the amounts of water consumption was in San Diego and Worlwide ,accounted 23% and even ,in Calivornia bosted from 23% to 33% significantly.

Based on the data ,the lowest of water consumption among the different countries and majorities were in Residential.

erwiin1 9 / 14  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi, bismillah

Your essay is good, but I would give you some corrections

1. ... different category places as Residental (Residential ), Industry and Agriculture.
2. As overall (an overall ) trend, the two countries showed ...
3. ... still had largest in residental (Residential ) of San Diego after agriculture
4. ... the amounts of water consumption was (were ) in San Diego and Worlwide (Wolrdwide )
5. accounted 23% and even, in Calivornia (California ) bosted from 23% ...

Thank you
fauzankrn 16 / 15  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Hello, Here my inputs for your writing

As overall trendmaybe you can change these words to Overall, it can be clearly seen that..., the two countries showedyou did not put any year, better you use simple present different water consumption ... and better if you can add details for example what county and sector spent most water

Good luck!


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