Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


[IELTS Task 2] Discuss about the positive & negative effects of working/studying from home



Hauau123456 1 / -  
Aug 26, 2023   #1
PROBLEM:
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

MY ANSWER:
Due to the cutting-edge breakthroughs in technological field, more and more activities have been conducted online, namely, working and learning. This brings into many advantages to people's lives, however, some drawbacks should be concerned. The pros and cons of this phenomenon are going to be discussed as follows.

The positive side of the far-distant working and studying activities is undeniable. Some researchers consider this movement as an effective method for environmental problem. By limiting the transportation, carbon emission from vehicles has been recorded at significantly low level, resulting in the decrease of the greenhouse effect and the recovery of ozone layer. Another main benefit, which is mentioned by economists and politicians, is financial aspect. Literally, thanks to staying home, employees and students in various nations can save money for commuting expenses. Moreover, the budget for building infrastructure and hiring office is being considered to cut down, or even eliminated by some hi-tech companies. As a consequence, this lightens the financial burden, especially in financial crisis as now.

On the other hand, several issues of working and studying online should be introduced. Technology has been a factor that prevent face-to-face communication. In detail, the interaction through the screen accidentally form the barrier from person to person. As a result, people would rather prioritize technological devices than social activities. This also leads to the mental disease related to stress, in both children and adults. Moreover, the problem of overusing technology should be issued. Since affordable technologies were invented, addiction level has increased dramatically. This is because people have gotten used to watching in front of the screen for their working and entertaining purposes. The more time they use those devices, the more addicted they are.

Given aforementioned arguments, it is reasonable to conclude that although low-cost technology have some benefits, the negative influences they have produced should not be overlooked.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15342  
Aug 26, 2023   #2
The pros and cons of this phenomenon are going to be discussed as follows.

This is not the writing instruction. You were given a specific question to respond to as the basis of your writer's opinion score and thesis statement. That was left unaddressed in this first paragraph. You will be losing out on the score for that section in terms of task accuracy. The paragraph is not fully compliant with the preliminary scoring expectations. That is a problem. You will not receive the best possible score for the preliminary TA section in this case.

While you did offer a good set of observations and comments in the reasoning paragraphs, it would have been better for your score had you been able to show a sense of how studying from home affected you in both a positive and negative manner. Examiners always provide additional scores for personal experience sharing.


Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS Task 2] Discuss about the positive & negative effects of working/studying from home
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳