Many people think that the government is wasting money when they invest in space travel. Beside that point of view, some people believe that space travel give a hand to human development. This essay will discuss both of these views.
A lot of research have shown that space science area spending a gigantic amount of money to buy the fuel that help to operate the spacecraft. We all know that these fuel are non-renewable and it takes a lot of time to create the new one. Not only waste money on human resources which give a hand in create fuel but also waste time. Moreover space travel is a dangerous and complicated work which can threaten the lives of scientists who studying about space travel area. Instead of wasting money on researching unnecessary things, the government can spend money on some urgent works like education, health and so on...
However, in some aspects space travel also give a hand to develop human life. We can not know what will happen to our earth in the future so invest in space travel also help us a lot in finding another ideal space for us to migrate. The most important thing is that studying about space travel will increase our knowledge about the space which can give a hand in discovering and inventing many unique tools of the time.
Personally, i think that space travel also give us a lot of advantage but in some aspect if we do not know how to limit, our country will soon fall in misery due to the lack of budget.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15189 This essay does not meet the word requirement of 250 up to 300 words. With only 225 words contained, it will definitely receive a failing preliminary and final score. That is because TA points will be deducted due to the missing 25 words, leading to a failing TA preliminary score. Beyond that, are the other deductions in relation to the incorrect prompt restatement, incorrect punctuation usage, missing writer's opinion, to name but a few of the reasons why this essay will get a final failing score. There will not be enough points awarded for you to pass the test. Specially since the essay is not in the correct format. You began an immediate discussion in the first paragraph, where you were expected to first introduce the topic in a restated form, and then present your opinion. You did not follow the writing guidelines for the task 2 essay.
Well, after reading your essay, I have some comment above:
Firstly, regarding the word count, the format of the article, and some other minor errors, I agree with @Holt's opinion.
Secondly, I would also like to give you feedback on the following grammatical errors:
- "A lot of research have shown " -> a lot of research has shown
- "that help to operate" -> that helps to operate
- "these fuel are non-renewable" -> these fuels are non-renewable
- "create the new one" -> create new ones ( because "ones" replaces the phrase "these fuels")
- "which give a hand in create fuel " -> which gives a hand in creating fuel
- After "Moreover," add a comma.
- "a dangerous and complicated work which can threaten" -> a dangerous and complicated work that can threaten (you should look more into how to use "which" and "that" in relative clauses)
- "who studying about space travel area" -> You can drop the word "about" to make the sentence sound less cluttered, and change "area" to "areas."
- In "some aspects," there should be an extra comma.
- "space travel also give a hand " -> space travel also gives a hand
- "gives a hand to develop human life" -> gives a hand with developing human life (The correct structure is "give someone a hand with something/doing something")
- "so invest in space travel" -> so investing in space travel (because in this case "invest in space travel" is functioning as the subject, so the verb "invest" needs to be in the "ing" form.)
- "help us a lot" -> helps us a lot
- "knowledge about the space" - knowledge about space (Don't use articles with words like nature, society, and space when referring to them in general, and only use them when you're talking about a specific space that both the speaker and listener are familiar with, for example: "the space in my room.")
- "i think that" -> I think that
- "give us a lot of advantage " -> gives us a lot of advantages
- "in some aspect" -> in some aspects,
- "how to limit" - how to limit it
- "fall in" -> fall into ("Fall in" is often used to refer to falling into a certain position, usually inside a space, or it can mean to join in, like "fall in line." On the other hand, "fall into" means to start doing something without any prior plan. Furthermore, "fall into" can also describe falling into a specific situation or state.)
NOTE: this is just my personal opinion, and if I've misunderstood or not been clear about your point, I hope you can forgive me. Also, I think it would be great if you used "In conclusion," in the closing part to make the style sound more formal, and don't forget to include @Holt's comments too.
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