Please help me modify my essay, I really want to get 6 plus in my writing part. Thanks a lot!
2014-2-2 (the first writing)
Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post, TV, Internet, etc) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Distance learning, as a newly appearing way in the education field, has become widely used these days. However, whether it is more beneficial than the traditional learning method or not has caused heated debate. My view is that only by combining these two methods together can students acquire more knowledge and skills.
It is obvious that through online learning, students can have access to various types of educational resources, the quantity of which were quite limited in the past. This is because the development of Internet makes remote learning feasible in a rather low cost which means even studying the course of university of Oxford at home is no longer an unrealistic dream. Therefore, in order to reduce the economic cost, an increasing number of students start utilizing distance-learning programmes.
That is not to say the traditional learning method (attending college and listening to teachers in the classrooms) is no longer crucial. Teachers, as the most important factors in the traditional, classroom-based learning are the ones not only share knowlegde and widsom to students, but also corret and motive them. This model has been accepted and functioning well for so many years. Students, especially when they were young, do not have the ability of distinguishing right from wrong which indicates that teachers' guidances are essential.
In sum, although remote learning brings benefits to the education field, yet we cannot neglect the importance of the traditional learning approach. Students, without teachers will surely get lost, but students who depend on teachers completely are not really learning.
2014-2-2 (the first writing)
Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post, TV, Internet, etc) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Distance learning, as a newly appearing way in the education field, has become widely used these days. However, whether it is more beneficial than the traditional learning method or not has caused heated debate. My view is that only by combining these two methods together can students acquire more knowledge and skills.
It is obvious that through online learning, students can have access to various types of educational resources, the quantity of which were quite limited in the past. This is because the development of Internet makes remote learning feasible in a rather low cost which means even studying the course of university of Oxford at home is no longer an unrealistic dream. Therefore, in order to reduce the economic cost, an increasing number of students start utilizing distance-learning programmes.
That is not to say the traditional learning method (attending college and listening to teachers in the classrooms) is no longer crucial. Teachers, as the most important factors in the traditional, classroom-based learning are the ones not only share knowlegde and widsom to students, but also corret and motive them. This model has been accepted and functioning well for so many years. Students, especially when they were young, do not have the ability of distinguishing right from wrong which indicates that teachers' guidances are essential.
In sum, although remote learning brings benefits to the education field, yet we cannot neglect the importance of the traditional learning approach. Students, without teachers will surely get lost, but students who depend on teachers completely are not really learning.
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