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IELTS TASK 2 - Doing job that really love not always make people get the happiness


Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Other say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job really enjoy?


Everyone wants to be happy. Many people thinks if they want to be happy, they have to work by doing a job they really impressed, but others say there are some factors that can affect people's happiness. I do believe there are numerous factors that can make mankind perfectly content, working is only one thing, because people live not only for working. Although having job that really love it can give the satisfied result.

People's happiness is affected many factors in their life, such as family, job, relationship, faith and etc. For instance, Japanese people are known as keen worker and they relish mostly. According to the BBC News, in 2015, South Korea and Japan are two highest suicide rate among wealth nations. In Japan, 70 suicides per day which the fastest growing suicide demographic is young men aged 20-40, many Japanese men feel isolated from others. Evidently, job is not the only factor, I conclude and believe other factors are more necessary.

People who get occupation that make them impressed produce the best. Mother Theresa is a good sample to explain this idea. She worked for helping people in the poverty area in India, she loved what she was doing, and it has been recognized and acclaimed throughout the world and has received a number of awards and distinctions included Nobel peace prize. It conclude best result can be achieved by one who enjoy their work.

In conclusion, I strongly believe having job that people really enjoy is only one factor that makes people happy because it can deliver the best result, but other factors are more important since people live not only for working. Where possible, spending time to others is better way to be happy.

La Baso 15 / 22  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
Dear writer, allow me to give opinion

Many people thinksthat if ....................

overall, I love reading yours. but in the fist paragraph I think it is better if you should make it simple. it could be "Many people thinks if they want to be happy, they have to work by doing a job they really impressed, but others say there are some factors that can affect people's happiness."

A surging proportion of individuals are keen to think that doing an interested job is the key of happiness

keep writing :) forgive me if I have mistake. :)
LaPolo11 12 / 28  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
People's happiness is affected many factors in their life, such as family, job, relationship, faith and etc. (EXPLAIN WHY People's happiness is affected these matter) For instance, Japanese people are known as keen worker and they relish mostly. According to the BBC News, in 2015,

main Idea
supporting Idea/explanation
example
result
conclution

these pattern above can be used for creating good body paragraph
Masfufah 10 / 12  
Apr 3, 2016   #4
Everyone wants to be happyHappiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person .

Paragraph 2:
People's happiness is affected many factors in their life, such as family, job, relationship, faith and etc.( where is the supporting Idea/explanation) .

Paragraph 3:
People who get occupation that make them impressed produce the best (where is the supporting Idea/explanation) .

May be you should notice a pattern.......


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