Dou agree with keeping traditional skills alive?

This is my essay for IELTS, I need to get 7.0. how do u think?

Q: When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over the last half century, modern technology has developed dramatically world wide and many people have been facinated this trend. On the other hand, it is a significant fact that traditional skills and a way of life have been faded rapidly. this phenomenon has also brought several issues in modern societies. In my opinion, the importance of traditional skills and customs shoud be recognized by individuals. This essay will examine three aspects of advantages of preserving the

traditional skills and customs.

fist of all, traditional practices often increase a sense of community and a social cohesion. For instance, national festivals have a significant meaning in terms of clutural and historical education. As people realize the importance of their heritage through the festival, they can improve their patriotism and sympathy with a social bonding.

Secondly, the inheritance of traditional methods and social customs have a profond impact on next generations. For example, folklore, historical stories and songs can be the best way to teach children how to learn a moral and wisdoms to live in societies. These children will be able to interact with other people when they grow up and start working in the community. In addition, these children who learned a moral and wisdoms through the education of traditional skills and knowledge will contribute to next generations.

furthermore, following conventional skills play a vital role not only to social cohesion but also to preserve environment. Convention skills such as walking towards a distination and using handmade products are all easy on environment because these practices are often harmless the nature due to saving petrol and redusing wastes. Thus these conventional practices enable peolpe to learn how to protect environment.

By comparison, technology has brought unpleasant problems world wide. Peolpe who are addicted to the Internet have a tendency of a lack of communication skills and sympathies with orther people. Hence some sociologists are apprehensive that crimes among young people have been increasing due to the prevalence of the technological development.

In conclusion, people should realize the importance of trafditional customs and skills because these practices have great advantages and it contributes positive influence to people in societies and the future.

Hello Rina,

please use a spellchecker before you post.

I think you have good arguments. They just need to be tied to your personal opinion. The prompt asks "To what extend do you agree..". If you integrate this into your arguments, it is a nice essay.


maybe "well-known fact"; "ways of life"

Do not know forget to use a capital letter in every word that starts a new sentence.


cinated this trend[/quote]




What do you want to teach children? I don't think you want to teach them how to learn, but you rather meant general life advice in order to fit/cope with society? Additionally, I do not think that wisdom has a plural (in the English language.)

Hello Irrational,
thank you for your advice :)

I do not understand one thing,
what do you mean "cinated this trend[/quote]'' ?

I think bc the word was cut off, look at the first quote: have been fas... then it was cut off to cinated by this trend

This is a good idea, because that way we can talk about other things instead of spelling. Actually, there are online spell checkers:

spellcheck.net/speller/

You need an s in this word:
fascinated

Here's what irrational is talking about, I think:
...and many people have been fascinated by this trend.

I think you should list them in this thesis statement:
This essay will examine three aspects of advantages of preserving the traditional skills and customs: ______, _______, and _________.

:-)

Thank you Kevin, I'll fix this essay.