Hi! This is my first post in this forum. Please help me and I will try to help back as hard as I can.
Just call me Vi
-----------------------------------------
This question is from Official IELTS practice test book 1 - Test 1 - Academic Writing 1
----------------------------------------
The bar chart shows figures for Japanese visitors travelling abroad from 1985 to 1995, while the line graph compares the percentage of these travelers visited Australia in the same period.
As can be seen from the data that there was a dramatic increase in the number of Japanese people travelling abroad. Throughout the period, more and more Japanese tourists cam to Australia which contributed to the increase of the number mentioned above.
Over the 5 years after 1985, the number of people from Japan travelling abroad increase steadily about 4 millions visitors. However, there was a slight fluctuation in the popularity of Japanese travelling abroad between 1990 and 1993. After this period, the figure for Japanese abroad tourists continued to rise gradually from 12 million visitors in 1993 to 15 million visitors in 1995.
Similarly, according to the line graph, 2% of Japanese visited Australia in 1985 and this proportion raise at least 2 times to 5% in 1989. The percentage of Japanese tourists visited Australia saw a slightly decline in 1990 and then it reached a highest point of 6% in 1994.
(183 words)
---------------------------------------
Questions:
1. How I can replace the phrase "Japaneses tourist travelling abroad"?
2. Are the words I used enough for band 7?
---------------------------------------
Thank you guys so much!
Just call me Vi
-----------------------------------------
This question is from Official IELTS practice test book 1 - Test 1 - Academic Writing 1
----------------------------------------
The bar chart shows figures for Japanese visitors travelling abroad from 1985 to 1995, while the line graph compares the percentage of these travelers visited Australia in the same period.
As can be seen from the data that there was a dramatic increase in the number of Japanese people travelling abroad. Throughout the period, more and more Japanese tourists cam to Australia which contributed to the increase of the number mentioned above.
Over the 5 years after 1985, the number of people from Japan travelling abroad increase steadily about 4 millions visitors. However, there was a slight fluctuation in the popularity of Japanese travelling abroad between 1990 and 1993. After this period, the figure for Japanese abroad tourists continued to rise gradually from 12 million visitors in 1993 to 15 million visitors in 1995.
Similarly, according to the line graph, 2% of Japanese visited Australia in 1985 and this proportion raise at least 2 times to 5% in 1989. The percentage of Japanese tourists visited Australia saw a slightly decline in 1990 and then it reached a highest point of 6% in 1994.
(183 words)
---------------------------------------
Questions:
1. How I can replace the phrase "Japaneses tourist travelling abroad"?
2. Are the words I used enough for band 7?
---------------------------------------
Thank you guys so much!
Official_Test1.png