IELTS T2: Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small

TOPIC: Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Personally find it very difficult to address this topic, hope I didnt misunderstand the topic. Here is my finished essay, any suggestions, in particular, sentence structure, grammar and the reasonableness of the content, would be appreciated. Thank you.

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Many small, local businesses are losing its customer base owing to a boom in chain supermarkets, and according to some, this will cause the local communities disappear. In my opinion, I agree that the communities will suffer as small, local businesses close but it is questionable that it will cause the death of local communities.

There is no doubt that small, local businesses are hard to compete with supermarkets due to two reasons. Firstly, supermarkets are able to make better offer and provide a wide range of products to customers because they have stronger bargaining power and different source of supplies. Another reason people tend to shop in supermarkets is that, there are always some rewards associated with the purchases, such as fuel voucher. That is, small businesses can never have that privilege for their customers. Some businesses might consider to leave the area and looking for new opportunities. As a result, less and less businesses can survive in the neighborhood.

Nevertheless, supermarkets sell goods with cheaper prices, some activities and shops cannot be replaced. Many locals still demand on types of market and unique shops even in a small community such as farmer's market, second-hand shop and so on, which are not the target products of supermarkets. Furthermore, many locals still prefer to shop in local stores due to their years of shopping preferences and close relationship with shop owners. Hence, it is difficult to say that one supermarket can easily destroy a community.

To conclude, even though a community can be challenged to maintain along with the growth of supermarkets, I believe that a community with a variety of demand will continue to stay.

(279 words)

Siu, you need not worry so much in terms of the content of your essay. You were right on track and you did not misunderstand the prompt. In fact, you clearly discussed the topic and offered logical supporting evidence from, what I believe, is based on your personal experience or knowledge. While your discussion is sound and strong, there is a slight imbalance in the way you discussed the essay. If you had discussed this essay in an argumentative system, you would have been able to discuss both the the agreed and disagreed opinions in the essay. That way, when you discuss your personal opinion, it would have a stronger backing based upon the side that you chose to support in the essay.

Please keep in mind that the thesis statement or introduction and the closing statement or conclusion of the essay always needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences each paragraph. If you do not portray the minimum number of sentences per paragraph, you will lose points in the final scoring, even if you are over the 250 minimum word count.

Your sentence structures are logically developed and you showed a chronological discussion in your essay. So your fears regarding your sentence structure, grammar, and reasonableness of content are unwarranted. You did a pretty good job in the development of your essay discussion.

HI Wai, first of all, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family,it is with great appreciation that we welcome yet another member of this growing family. Here on EF, we strive to provide you with the most comprehensive feedback and accurate reviews to your articles in order for you to strengthen each writing project and be more confident in submitting your essay.

Now, I believe you are having difficulty in understanding the prompt, so here's an explanation.

- Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that if small local businesses close, the communities will be heavily affected to the extent that it will bring them hardships in daily life. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

There you have it Wai, as you can see, with the help of EF, you will be able to understand the prompt, therefore, you will be able to answer it properly and know the direct approach in which to follow in writing your essay.

I will get back to you for the rest of the essay and should you need further insights after the review or feedback of EF contributors,feel free to write us back, we are here for you.

@justivy03
@Holt

Thank you for your illustration. I will keep working to improve my writing skills :)