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Economic development VS Loss of social values [IELTs]


spoontzc 2 / 6  
Jul 28, 2011   #1
Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

At present, living standard has been improved emphatically along with rapid economic advancement. People truly benefit from the development whereas some individuals propose that the convenience and advantage people enjoy is at the cost of social values. I believe that the disadvantages triumph over the advantages.

Indeed, economic and technological progress greatly facilitates public's lives. From the perspective of efficiency, the widely use of car and so forth noticeably prompts people's life paces, making their life and work increasingly efficient and time-saving. Furthermore, technology innovations, already a major driving force in economy advancement, bring about unbelievable changes of people's means of communication. The application of mobiles and various online chatting tools accelerates information's transmission and enable people to interact with others easily, indirectly promote the progress of living standard.

However, one issue that has been fervently discussed is the ignorance of social values like ethic in the express train of economy. Some virtues have already been disposed of. The recession of ethic motivate people to cheat and fraud in the hope of gaining money and power in modern society. The climbing rate of crime involves robbery and theft proves that merely economic development may not be the answer to everything. Nevertheless, people would rather struggle in the complex of money than stay at home and talk with family members. Even the rich may possess a lower sense of happiness than the poor before. Seldom do people ask themselves what they really need. Instead, they indulge themselves into the tide of pursuing material wealth and fame, satisfying with the advancement of living standards.

To conclude, developing economy is necessary but it is unwise to ignore the significance of social virtues. And also, simple returning to the past cannot address the problem. In order to maximizing the benefit of advancing economy which contributes to improved criteria of living, confinement of ethic is required.

ekekek 25 / 51  
Jul 28, 2011   #2
People truly benefit from the development whereas some individuals propose that the convenience and advantage people enjoy is at the cost of social values.
_____________>you should recheck the usage of "whereas".

Honestly, my understanding of the essay title differs from yours.
Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development . But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

_________________> I think the purpose of this essay is compare between economic development and social values, but you obviously separate the two, you should add some contrasts in your para.2 and para.3.
OP spoontzc 2 / 6  
Jul 29, 2011   #3
Yeah.At first when I see the title, I am rather confused how to write it because I don't understand it totally.Now I am still puzzled.

How do you think of the grammatic range and accuracy of this essay?
OP spoontzc 2 / 6  
Jul 29, 2011   #4
Whatever, thanks for taking your time to comment on my essay.
aleafsun 9 / 19  
Jul 29, 2011   #5
Spoontzc,

May I ask a gramma question of your essay? Would it be better if I write " the widely use of a car or the widely use of cars " instead of the original sentence?

Aleaf
OP spoontzc 2 / 6  
Jul 29, 2011   #6
Of course you can. That is a typical mistake of plural form usage in the original text. Forgive my limited grammatical knowledge

= =!

Thank you!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 31, 2011   #7
I'm going to make a lot of changes, and I hope you practice the essay with way. I hope you type every sentence 5 times to learn the correct grammar.

At present, living standards have been improved emphatically along with rapid economic advancement.

People truly benefit from the development whereas some individuals propose that the convenience and advantage people enjoy is at the cost of social values.---Good sentence!

I believe that the disadvantages triumph over the advantages, because __________________- (Give the reason).

Indeed, economic and technological progress greatly facilitates facilitate life for the public.

From the perspective of efficiency, the wide use of cars and so forth noticeably increases people's life paces, making their life and work increasingly efficient and time-saving.

The recession of ethics motivates people to cheat and commit fraud in the hope of...

Instead, they indulge in the tide of pursuing material wealth and fame, satisfied with the advancement of living standards.

:-)
mybloodyromance 2 / 5  
Jul 31, 2011   #8
can we begin paragraph with INDEED OR HOWEVER?
OP spoontzc 2 / 6  
Aug 3, 2011   #9
thank you very much!

I appreciate your help.@EF_KEVIN
shahdad 7 / 17  
Aug 3, 2011   #10
is that common to sue words like indeed in first of paragraph?


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