I know that this isnt your typical essay for critiquing but I am in desperate need of a little advice on my written works. I am a science major and am currently doing more PR work so I could use as much help as possible with my style. Science writing seems to be a completely diff style than anything else.
Here is a letter to the editor I recently wrote, please offer up any remarks.
Frank D's Oct 20th letter to the editor on the designation of the Tamiami Trail as a Scenic highway was based on misinformation and inaccurately portrays it as a backdoor attempt by federal government to gain control of local lands.
D stated that "designation will remove all local authority (automatically) from the lands adjacent to the trail". However, there has been no loss of control in 9 years of designation! The designation does not give regulative authority to federal or state government. All local jurisdiction remains.
The program exists only to allow the county to apply for grants in order to "preserve and protect a part of Florida's cultural and scenic routes for vehicular, bicycle, and pedestrian travel" as stated in the Scenic Highway statutes.
Since designation in 1997 Tamiami Trail has received over 8 million dollars in grants. These millions of dollars have allowed the creation of Big Cypress visitor center, trails and a scenic overlook at Ten Thousand Islands Wildlife Refuge, and other projects for overall protection and enhancement of the trail.
De-designating the highway would deny travelers safe access to recreational areas, deny residents opportunities for cultural enhancement specifically the planned restoration of Monroe Station and kill plans for exotic species removal along the highway.
If you support the continued designation of the Tamiami Trail Scenic Highway and the continued allotment of millions of dollars to Collier County for its enhancement, please write to your local county commissioner.
While I'd agree that science writing has its own style (as do other fields, such as law), you've done an excellent job of stating your position in this letter. The only corrections I would make are to minor punctuation errors:
lands adjacent to the trail". -- should be trail." Periods and and commas always go inside the quotation mark in American English.
"deny residents opportunities for cultural enhancement -- specifically the planned restoration of Monroe Station -- and kill plans ..." You need to set your Monroe Station remark apart with either commas or, as I prefer here, em dashes. (This font doesn't really do em dashes, so I had to use two hyphens.)
I think your PR work is in good hands!