Education is a crucial part to reach bright future of horizons

Please give me suggestion to improve my writing skill:
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

How far do you agree or disagree with the above views ?
Education is a crucial part to reach bright future of horizons. As such, it is believed that graduated from highest level of education can support people to obtain a well-paid job, gaining work experience by involving in the workplace after school level in a reverse.

It cannot be denied that education level is very determinative to get a job. This is because there is large number of job availabilities require a high level of knowledge which are of higher income. For example, in this era many kinds of professional job are employeed by graduated students from university such as accountants, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, and so forth. In addition, a news from theguardian.com revealed that in 2015 medical practitioners are placed in top ten of highest job. It is inevitable fact that it by completing course in high degree can make people to have more chance gaining better job.

Nevertheless, working experience can help people to improve their career as well. This is because by engaging in work in long-term can boost the ability of people to work a job. An article from career.govt.nz informs that involving in a job early can help people to improve their job opportunities later since job interview usually ask about work experience which is more prioritised to get a job. Hence, experience can be benefit for our better future.

In conclusion, Although can lead to boost career by working after study, it is imperative that completing study from highest education can . I firmly agree that professional jobs which have well-paid salary can be easier to be gained by education degree than just depends on work-experience.

Hi Fardan, I just finish reading the essay, and I must say, I understood what your side of the argument is, you were able to write a clear and concise message to your readers, the word choices are not only simple but it has the sense of better understanding and the idea transpired through out the essay.

Overall, the concept of what is asked of the prompt as well as the opinion that you are trying to convey to the readers is seen in the essay and this is very vital towards the completion and ultimately the submission of your essay.

I hope to see more of your work and for future writing reference, try to be more specific when it comes to giving examples, reason behind the citation and of course, the relevance to the essay.

Keep writing.