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Education and health service cost should be paid by people in prosperity for a country' extra income



Lita27 16 / 13  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. to what extent do your agree or disagree?

Certain country has different priority when it comes to their development to choose for. However, mostly, education and health are the first and the second sector which is concerned by the government. It is recommended that governement spends its money on all education and healthcare and makes them free for all citizen. Regarding this notion, I strongly convince that government should invest on education and health but only for supports and not entirely free for all, include wealthy people.

The government should allocate its expenses for education and healthcare only limited on their features, such as infrastructures and services. If the money put on this education development, the quality of its population will increase. The life expectancy will rise at the point as expected if the healthcare services are well-established. Take an example from Finland's policy makers, they arranged the vast majority of the capital income for education and health infrastructure, system improvement, and the human resources. As a result, their education quality is number one in the world. The mortality rates of this country also decreased dramatically by 50% of the prior figure in 2015. Therefore, the government budgeting should be spent in education and health importantly on particular parts.

Rich people should not be liberated from the charge of tuition and health fees. The reason of this is that costing education and health for high-income people will add the countriy's GDP. In addition, this income can be allocated in other sectors or spent on the establishment of education and health services in the areas of less developed. Thus, it is apparent that prosperous citizen should be excluded from government's budgeting in education and healthcare.

To sum up, two concerning areas, education and health should acquire enough money from the government only in their supporting elements. Education and health service cost should be paid by people in prosperity since it will provide extra income for the country.

aviniwirastri 10 / 35  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
hii lita,,

paragraph 1 :
It is recommended that governement spends its money on all education and healthcare and makes them free for all citizen .
... on education and health but only for supports and not entirely free for all,include wealthy people.

according to ieltsli, you need to avoid any typo.

the words in blue are little confusing.
......and makes them free for poor citizen.
free? verb or adjective? you need to check collocation dictionary.
if it is an adjective, you need to put be..
phrase in red : the phrase modifies what idea? the position of this phrase is unclear.

paragraph 2
The government should allocate its expenses for education and healthcare only limited on their features, such as ...

it is difficult to understand the supporting idea with the first sentence. try to re-read the first sentence, then try to find any coherence with second sentence. i don't think you really need the phrase only limited there.

paragraph 3
in the areas of less developed
structure error : in the areas which is less-developed / in the areas that need development / in the undeveloped areas.

paragraph 4
To sum up, two concerning areas, education and health should acquire enough ...
Education and health service cost should be paid by people in prosperity since it will provide extra income for the country.

sentence in red ; it is an additional idea, but it seems like you are going to be almost off-topic.
you need to give linking device before this sentence, so readers understand that it is only supporting idea as your opinion because the task does not ask or discuss about giving extra income to the state.

the question is : should education and healthcare be free for everyone, or not?
fardan10 18 / 24  
Apr 6, 2016   #3
This ismy suggestion:

The government should allocate its expenses(its national budget) for education and healthcare only limited ...
... the quality of its population (the quality of ctizen's horizon) will increase (boost) .

As a result, their education quality is number one in the world (the education level of that country recognised as the best education system in the worldwide) . IN ADDITION ,(use this linking word to ad your idea) The mortality rates of this country also decreased (decline) dramatically by 50% ...


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