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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Effect of sleeping less



divine_9 3 / -  
Jul 30, 2025   #1
Q. People sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals?

Human beings tend to sleep less nowadays than they used to many years ago. This is because we are working for longer hours compared to the past, and this results in fatigue.

People are focused on doing more work than getting a good sleep. The competition in the job market is very high, due to which people are scared of losing their jobs to someone else who works more. That means jobholders have to get up earlier and work till late at night, which will cut their sleeping hours, thus resulting in disruption of their sleeping pattern. In an instance, A recent study showed that the average employee works 3 more hours than the average employee in the 1970s.

The detrimental effect of this problem is widespread chronic fatigue. People who do not get a sufficient amount of sleep or time to unwind usually underperform at work, have bad relationships with their peers or close circle of individuals, and might even have health problems. For example, a business company recently compared the work efficiency of their workforce who get 9 hours of sufficient sleep and those who do not. The study showed that those who slept more are capable of completing their work 5 times faster than those who lack proper sleep.

In conclusion, Individuals in our generation are more sleep-deprived than our previous generation due to longer working hours, and that has a huge effect on workers' mental and physical health for leading to chronic tiredness to the point of exhaustion.

Please review this essay and provide some feedback; I have my exam within a month and I'm aiming for band 8. So, I need to improve a lot, and your feedback will be a great help in that. Please provide a band score that you think this essay deserves and tips to improve.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Jul 31, 2025   #2
You have not written enough words to aim for a band 8 score. You should write closer to 300 words of proper rubic scoring consideration if you wish to achieve that score. You wrote only 252 words, which is considered the bare minimum word requirement for the essay. You wrote a pretty good paper. The information is sound and based on commonly known information. However, you wrote less than 3 sentences in the paraphrase and closing paragraphs. That is the reason why your writing limited your scoring consideration. You should have expanded in both paragraphs to result in 3-5 sentences. That would have helped to increase the scoring consideration for your paper on the part of the examiner. You do not have to write more than 300 words to achieve the necessary scoring considerations for band 8.


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