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'Effects of government's spending on culture and education' [IELTS] Writing Task 1_1

color 3 / 4  
Sep 24, 2012   #1
This report is intended to give a brief summary about the relationship between the government's spending on culture and education in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in Arts events in the years mentioned.

From the chart below we can deduce that the spending of the Government on the Arts were quite similar in 1995 and 2005.
The major change is on "Theatre" field where compared with 1995, the spending almost doubled.
Despite of this change, the number of people going at theatre did not increased significantly.
Overall, we can find almost the same amount of people participating in arts events in 2005 compared with 1995. The spending of the Government on visual arts suffered a major change, and was reduced, and almost proportional the number of people interested in visual arts was diminished in 2005.

Music is the most popular art form and in 1995 the Government spent most money on this, but the amount they spent on 1995 dropped slightly in 2005. However the number of people attending music events raised a lot between 1995 and 2005.

  • Task

vikki 3 / 5  
Sep 24, 2012   #2
you can start as - The pie chart and bar diagram illustrates the expenditure for the government, for the field of arts, for the years 1995 and 2005.

in third line - despite this change
going to the theatre did not increase significantly

nice writing, with practice you can master task 1
all the best
didiconopidi 2 / 4  
Sep 26, 2012   #3
I think that your writing is good but if I were you I'd be more specific about numbers
For example: how many peopre participated in music events.Almost 150,000 persons participated in music events in 2005 whereas the number was almost 130,000 in 1995

I think your score for this task is 6.5 or 7
Tran Tong 5 / 8  
Oct 2, 2012   #4
I also have minor comments on your style. Maybe you need to avoid personal construction as you used "we" two times in task 1 of IELTS. Next time, it is helpful if you put the word count at the bottom of your essay.
ademcelik 2 / 6  
Oct 18, 2012   #5
I think it always helps to write the effects of something. You could do what cooldudebill suggested, and on top of that, to make the essay more insightful, how it affected you as a person, how you feel about it, etc.

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