my simple essay
The effects of Violent Movies
There are many effects of violent movie. First, there are many children. Who wishes to be as movies heroes that are explain the earned impact from movies, and hero's movies. Second, on the other side, there is going to be a positive correlation between watching violent television programs and aggressive behavior, as the crime rate increases after seeing the violent match. The violent movies are increases with the thousand of movies are protections in year, especially the last two years. The people when you see a violent movie that catalyzing them to kill, and make their behavior aggressively. Finally, not just violent movies make the human behavior aggressive, we have, video games, and tools game. The violence movies have taken a large space between the others kinds of movies. In short, the violence movies are very bad, and I don't like to see it because the violence movies have a very horrific scene.
It needs to be longer and you should add more details. Also, expand on your ideas. You got some good points, just explain further and break it down into paragraphs. Its not really in essay form.
Sameed pretty much hit the nail on its head with his comment. An essay usually has multiple paragraphs. These paragraphs often contain citations drawing on empirical studies that back up your claims. They also often deal with opposing arguments by explaining why those arguments are wrong or irrelevant. Also, why are you writing this? Is it for practice, for class, or for some other reason? If for class, what are the requirements?
There are many effects of violent movies . First, there are many children who wish to be like movies heroes. They are impacted by movies, and by the hero's actions.
...
The violent movies are increasingly influential, with the thousand of movies are protections created each year, especially the last two years. The people in a violent movie are under circumstances that catalyze them to kill, and make them behave aggressively. Finally, not only do violent movies make the human behavior aggressive, but so do video games., and tools game. The violence in movies has taken a large space among the various kinds of movies. In short, the violence movies are very bad, and I don't like to see it because the violence movies have a their very horrific scenes.
Keep working on your English! Keep reading books written in English, and you will improve your skill!! :)
Sammy is right. You need to go with the simple 5 paragraph essay intro, 3 topic paragraphs, summary. Its not as hard as it seems since your first and last are similar. Just get some more details for the body paragraphs.
guys i know it's very simple becuase it's my first step to learn how to write and how to write better...
If you are just doing this for practice, why not pick a topic you are really enthused about? Writing on relatively random topics that don't seem to mean much to you isn't a great way to improve your writing. Find something that you really want to say, that you feel you need to say, and start there.
For starters, for a standard, five paragraph essay, this is the simplified structure:
Paragraph one: Hooker, Thesis, 3 points. (For example, "The reasons violent movies are inappropriate for developing children include _____, ______, and _____,")
Paragraph two: Explain the first topic in your three points.
Paragraph three: Transition, (like "Also, In addition, etc) then explain the second topic of your three points.
Paragraph Four: Transition, then explain the third topic of your three points.
Paragraph Five: Restate your thesis, summarize your three points, and reach a conclusion.
Each individual paragraph should have a similar structure-- 5 sentences: topic, 3 body sentences, clincher/conclusion. You can have a couple of extra body sentences if necessary. Other than that, just be sure to mix up your sentence structure, (look up subject, prepositional, ly-adverb, -ing opener, clausal, and very short sentance) and you'll do well. You may want to google "five paragraph essay structure" for a more complete setup.
Hope this helps!
Good luck!
i have to do a similar essay...i think you should write out an outline
intro-thesis
main body- write down ur main points, with facts
conclusion
if u want this essay to be strong provide key information, such as statistics, and facts...it will make ur argument stronger. Also talk about the opposing side as well.
