IELTS writing: email and text messaging threats written language

This is my writing!It would be great to hear some comments from all of you! Thanks!

TOPIC: Email and text messaging have transformed communication but they are seriously threatening the status of written language. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The introduction of email and text messaging has brought about considerable changes in communication. With this situation, some people believe that they may be factors decreasing the position of written language. I am in favor of that idea because of their advantages and the fact we can see today about the use of these new means.

First of all, it is easy to point out many benefits users can get from email and text messaging, which answers to the question of their great popularity. Before email and mobile phone, human beings communicated by meeting directly, sending letters or later, calling from home phones. Such ways usually made people have troubles for the expensiveness, difficulties in far communication or emergency and the loss of information. However, email and cell phones have improved the obstacles above. People can send or receive electronic letters anywhere and anytime they want. Especially, thanks to the function provided by email and text messaging (SMS), it is cheaper and faster to transfer a lot of information, even to many people at the same time. They are so convenient that the majority of population prefer to use them instead of some traditional ways.

The popularity of email and text messaging, as a result, leads to the losing of written language's position. People tend to use slangs and abbreviated words to shorten their writing and save more time in communicating for other activities. The outcome is that language in writing is not in its original form. Even in some cases, people compose a message with only emoticons (the expressions by face created by service providers), which means there is no room for writing or typing texts. Moreover, it is more dangerous that youngsters sometimes use such new languages in their studying, writing assignments. If that tendency continues at a rapid pace, written language may face up to a real problem about its stand.

In conclusion, we cannot deny the threat from email and text messaging to the status of written language because their obvious popularity. Nevertheless, educators and individuals themselves, especially the youths should pay ore attention to this matter so that we can take advantages of the new language along with preserving the traditional one.

(Time: 35 mins)

In the introduction you say that you agree with the idea that text messaging is "decreasing the position of written language" then the first body paragraph mostly focus on the positive advantages of texting. What does this paragraph have to do with your thesis. It seems to contradict it. You say that texting helps people communicate but your thesis is that it is actually destroying written language. Pick a side! :)

Or if you want to talk about both sides. State that in your thesis. I don't know, now that I read it again, maybe you did kind of say that but, you need to reword it to make it more clear.

I agree. I think that your statement isn't very clear in your introductory paragraph.

With this situation, some people believe that they may be factors decreasing the position of written language.

This sentence is awkward. With what situation? Maybe rewrite it to look something like this:

With the increase usage of texting and email, some people believe that written language is declining.

I am in favor of that idea because of their advantages and the fact we can see today about the use of these new means.

Again, this sentence is awkward. Because your argument seems to be that texting/emailing is both a good and a bad thing, I would state that right up front (if the assignment allows for it). Maybe rewrite that sentence to look something like this:

While emailing and texting increases the speed and volume of communication, the quality of that communication appears to suffer.

Then you could talk about the conveniences of electronic communication and well as the way that people use the language in those conversations follows a lower standard. With your conclusion, you could talk about how people can better use texting/email when they hold themselves to a higher standard of writing.

Here is one idea:

...they may be factors that contribute to the diminishment of the importance of written language.

However, email and cell phones have helped to overcome these obstacles. above .

...as a result, leads to the diminishment of quality in written language.

I see what the others mean about the way you seem to support both sides. However, it is clear that you are saying that the popularity is what causes new communication technology to threaten the quality of language. I think the real problem is an underdeveloped first paragraph. That first paragraph needs one or two more sentences. Here is an idea to improve clarity:

I am in favor of that agree with the idea that new forms of communication can diminish the quality of language, because of their advantages and the fact we can see today about the use of these new means rush through the communication process without spending the necessary time to use language beautifully.

You might also want to consider that even unilingual people already use several languages. That is, the English a person uses with his friends isn't the same as the English he uses with his family, which is different again from the language he uses with his employers, which is probably not the same as the English he used in school with his teachers. None of this has greatly degraded the English used in formal writing, so there is no great reason to believe that the creation of an English used mainly in text messaging will either.

hi,

i do not think the disadvantages of email and text message rest with the weakened position of written language, but with the declined ability of people to use it . so i think you'd better emphasize more on that.

that's my view, i hope it will be useful!