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The emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2) in metric tonnes per person [Ielts]

wuchunhung0927 2 / 4  
Aug 11, 2017   #1
Holt, I try to use your advise and present here.
Can you give me an advice for the new one and the score i may reach in IELTS? I will very appreciate if you can do that, Thank you.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

the range of emission between four European areas

The line graph shows the emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2) in metric tonnes per person between four decade spanning 1967 to 2007 in four areas, which is United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal.

Overall, the illustration shows the range of emission between four areas, which have a massive difference in 1967, are being narrow in 2007.

The emissions of CO2 per person in UK and Sweden are dropped during this four decade. Unlike the steady decrease of UK from 11 to 9 metric tonnes, the first decade of Sweden still having a raise until they reach the peak, from 9 to 11 metric tonnes. After which, a sharply decrease occur at the next three decade from 11 to 5 metric tonnes.

While the British and Swedes reducing their emissions of CO2, the Italians and Portuguese are raising it. Overview this two areas, both of Italy and Portugal have a stable increase between 1967 to 1997, from 4 to 7 metric tonnes and from 1 to 5 metric tonnes, respectively. However, a plateau happened in Italy's emission while Portugal are still raising to around 6 metric tonnes.

Over this 40 years, the rank of emissions per person in this four areas are modified. Although there is a drop in UK, it still is the top. Sweden is the second at first, being the last at last. Both Italy and Portugal ranked up, from 3 and 4 to 2 and 3, in order.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,926 3851  
Aug 11, 2017   #2
@wuchunhung0927 You still have a problem with the paraphrasing of the information in the summary overview. Remember that it has to indicate the type of graph used, the overview of vital information to be discussed, and the required discussion instructions. The trending sentence should have been incorporated into the third paragraph in order to create a more solid and complete paragraph presentation. Since the graph illustration was not uploaded with your essay, I can't speak as to the validity of the rest of the information you present in the essay. Don't forget to do that next time. That is the reason why, even tough you request for me to score your essay, I am unable to do so. I don't have the comparison instructions to analyze your work with. In general though, you seem to have created a thorough enough presentation. As to the accuracy of the presentation, I cannot really determine that at this point. If you don't forget to upload the image with your next essay, I should be able to provide you with a better analysis of your work then.
OP wuchunhung0927 2 / 4  
Aug 11, 2017   #3
Sorry, Holt. I thought it was uploaded.

LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Aug 11, 2017   #4
Hi. You should have given your essay a second look when you succeeded in posting your thread. Images are occasionally uploaded unsuccessfully. Next time please check your threads more carefully, or you are at risk of missing comprehensive reviews.

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