Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Emissions if Cows Keep Cutting the Cheese?


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 19, 2016   #1
California's decision to keep emissions of methane is opposed by a local dairy industry. Amount of methane come from respiration and manure of cattle. It is not as dangerous as carbon dioxide but it is counted 25 times more than carbon dioxide producing from industrial factories.

Dairy company has protested the policy of limiting gas from cattle, government are considering a law about cattle diet. Government aims to enforce new manure management practices that help to diminish amount of methane produced from cattle. It is an effort from The California Air Resources Board that has targeted to reduce methane emission by 40 percent by 2030, from 2013 levels.

However, this regulation has refused by dairy companies. They claimed that it just a strategy to fell the future of California dairy industry. In other side, earth has witnessed not only more extreme climate change for the latest 14 months but also the increasing of temperature and sea level. Until at the moment California has adjusted the idea from Argentina to convert the manure into green energy.

wired.com/2016/08/can-california-cut-methane-emissions-cows-keep-cutting-cheese/
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 19, 2016   #2
Hi Eka, here's my analysis towards your essay.

1st paragraph:
- Amount of methane come from respiration and manure of cattle. (this sentence seems stand alone. You need to link this sentence to the previous sentence to make your paragraph coherent.) To illustrate:

>> ... is opposed by a local dairy industry. This is because some amount of methane come from respiration ...
- ...it is counted as 25 times more than carbon...

2nd paragraph:
- Then, government areis now currently considering a law about cattle diet.
- Government aims toforenforceenforcing new manure management practices that can help to diminish amount...
- ...reduce methane emission by 40 percent byin 2030, from the year of 2013 levels.

3rd paragraph:
- ...this regulation has been refused by dairy companies.
- They claimed that it was just a strategy to felldrag the future of California dairy industry down .
- InOn the other sidehand , the Earth has witnessed (...) change for the latestlast 14 months...
- Until At the moment, California has adjusted the idea...

As you can see Eka, there are still some modifications that are necessary to be addressed in revising your article summary. I hope this is helpful :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Emissions if Cows Keep Cutting the Cheese?