Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


IELTS TASK 2 - THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL ACTIONS TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING



juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 21, 2021   #1

global warming and insufficient involvement from the government



Admittedly, global warming is known as an inevitable problem to the earth yet some argue that there is inadequate force to mitigate the overconsumption and contamination to the environment. I personally agree with this statement as there are numerous factories emitting noxious smoke and people still using too much plastic.

The enormous use of plastic is one of the main causes of climate change but has not suffered from proper prohibitive policy. Plastic goods require about 450 years to decompose but are still being used for daily purposes and are thrown away after a single consumption to purchase new ones. According to a biological center, Americans consume 100 billion plastic bags per year, which require 12 million barrels of oils to manufacture. Despite this, plastic products are still being produced and sold with a large amount for a cheaper price without being levied with a high tax.

Furthermore, pollution caused by toxic exhaust fumes of factories have not received enough strict action from the government. There are many industrial plants such as chemical and nuclear plants that are still exhausting tonnes of smoke into the atmosphere and waste into the ocean. For example, the Formosa factory in Vietnam had received complaints from the local residents about its contamination to the water source and the impact on animal and people's health. However, the government did not enact a satisfactory penalty for the factory and it is allowed to operate after all.

In conclusion, the excessive consumption of plastics and the pollution from factories are two of the main causes of global warming. Nonetheless, there is insufficient involvement from the government to ease these alarming issues.

OP juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 23, 2021   #2
I posted the same thread few days ago but deleted it immediately the next day because I wanted to rewrite some parts. This is my new thread. I would be very appreciated if you guys can give advice for my essay. Thank you!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Mar 23, 2021   #3
When I have given the student advice twice for their essays and I do not see any improvement in the writing format and content, I tend to ignore the student's succeeding posts as it is obvious that the student is not listening to me. That is the case with your essay. I keep telling you not to affirm anything in the opening paraphrase and yet you continue to do so, even after I saw you tell a fellow student not to do that before you posted this essay. That gave me hope that you actually were listening to me, then you went and "admitted" something that you were not being asked to admit in this essay. What am I to think? You say one thing, then go and do another. Why should I waste my time continuing to advise you then when there are other students, who actually listen to me, that I can spend that time helping improve because they listen to me.

Your prompt restatement does not clearly indicate a thesis response that shows what questions you are responding to. There are only 2 reasons provided. However, this is a problem-solution essay, based on the title that you used for it. What government solutions might be enacted? You failed to provide that in the second reasoning paragraph.

Had you provided the original prompt, which is a requirement at this forum, I could offer you more relevant advice. I will do that next time. Provided you supply the original prompt and stop making the same mistakes in your presentation. Otherwise, this will be the last piece of advice you will receive from me.
OP juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 23, 2021   #4
I am so sorry. You told me to stop over explaining sentences so I have tried to not doing it this time. I thought the point of the question was to prove if the government has not have enough actions to control those two problems or not. I did not know that it needs solutions too. I am sorry but I did take your advice seriously about stop expanding sentences. I will do better and more careful next time.
OP juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 23, 2021   #5
I am sorry that I forgot to put the question in my thread.
The topic is: Climate change is now an accepted threat to our planet, but there is not enough political action to control excessive consumerism and pollution. Do you agree?

And I used the word "Admittedly" because I wanted to paraphrase the question since it said climate change is an accepted threat so I thought it would be fine to use that word. I will keep in mind this and will learn to minimize my sentences and improve my writing format to not making the same mistakes again. Thank you for your help sir.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 100  
Apr 7, 2021   #6
Hi @juliachung

As far as I know, the primary cause for global warming is not overconsumption of plastic or toxic industrial waste but greenhouse gas emissions, which I think you should foucs on. For example, you could say:

Because the government does not take concrete action to promote renewable energy including wind power, a great many people and companies still burn fossial fuel, thereby producing enormous carbon dioxide emissions, which are recognized as the culprit for climate change.

Discussion on overconsumption of plastic, in my opinion, is deviation from the topic.

To be honest, the topic of climate change is somewhat out of touch with daily life, so it is understandable that you are not familiar with it. But you have to prepare for it anyway because you will likely meet it in the test. If you know little about it, you may want to Google it to learn more about it. And remember to add the prompt the prompt next time, such as:

Climate change is now an accepted threat to our planet, but there is not enough political action of control excessive consumerism and pollution. Do you agree or disagree?


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL ACTIONS TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳