Before entering college many young people are advised that a year working or traveling is good thing

a gap year - an option for students

Hello, all..
This is my first time join this comunity And also write my essay here. Can you help me to give comment for my essay? Thanks before.

Some countries, young people are encouraged to work or Travel for a year between finishing high school And before starting universities. Discuss the advantages And disadvantages, give your opinion?

It is agreed that before entering on college many young people are adviced that a year working or traveling may be a good option. This essay will suggestion that saving money is the biggest positive aspect of this And a reduced Motivation to study is the primary disadvantage.

Studying In university is quite expensive And many student decide to work for twelve months And save up money before they begin their studies In next level. This allows than to pay for their living cost, tuitition fees, acomodation And focus on their studies, rather thanks struggle financially or have to get a part of time job on top their academic work. For example, many cases that average student In university especially In Indonesia, requires over 1.5 milions per month just to survive and many drop out because they cannot afford to stay.

Despite these merit, many student often get used working or traveling And do not want to return to a life of study after a year off. This is short term view can cause some bypass university altogether And go straight into a job. That is beneath than capabilities or may not often the same prospects their future career night done. For example : some young people, Will be feel comfortable with their activity as a worker In a company because they think career progretion better than back to study In university. Moreover, they have accepted salary for their effort while working In the company.

Based on the argument, it can be taken conclusion that taking a break from studies can be advantagenous if it allows people to gather up savings. However, they should also be careful that it dress not lend to disillusionment with Education altogether.

Thank you.

Hana, the most glaring problem that struck me when I reviewed your essay was your inability to properly write in lower and uppercase letters. If you notice, you are using capitalized words in the middle of your sentences even when these words are not proper nouns. Only proper nouns and the pronoun "I" is always capitalized when used in sentences. Connecting words such as "and" are never capitalized. The rules are fairly simple to remember, if the word starts a sentence, it is capitalized. If it is a proper noun, it is capitalized. There are no other times when the word needs to be capitalized.

While your grammar is not perfect, it is acceptable enough for your first try. Although the written word needs work in terms of proper sentence structure and grammar use, it is still understandable to most readers. You should work on creating a more proper English sentence structure when you do your next practice test. Maybe do more grammar exercises during your spare time so that you can practice English sentence writing without having to think about the prompt requirements as you have to do during the practice essay tests.

Now, the essay uses the plural form of the words advantages and disadvantages, so you need to present at least 2 connected reasons in a single paragraph which uses proper transition sentences or phrased within the paragraph in order to create a coherent and cohesive presentation. You are being tested regarding your fluidity of thought and English writing in this instance and unfortunately, your essay did not deliver the required aspects.

You are missing a concluding paragraph here. You only have a personal opinion presented at the end of the essay, which does not qualify as a closing paragraph. A closing paragraph is always different from a personal opinion because the function of that paragraph is to remind the reader about the topic for discussion and discussion points. Without that the essay is considered open ended and could receive a lower score in terms of GRA considerations because of it.

Hi, your paragraph contains lots of spelling and jumbled grammatical structures. As I see you have difficulties in typing a document, my advice is that before you submit your essay online, make a sketch on your paper first, and then type it here.

Spelling mistakes, you need to pay more attention (I cannot cite all it out):
advicsed => advice is a noun, therefore it cannot be a verb. Advise is a verb form.
This essay will suggestion
accomodation

The addtional advices are what the admin has given to you. Try to keep an ear on it, and good luck with your next writing.