Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


enthusiastic generation; Who brings up the children: Parents or Teachers



Arun0506 27 / 119  
Dec 23, 2013   #1
Question : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Beyond doubt, enthusiastic younger generation is believed to be the future heroes of the society in every nation. In my opinion, both parents and teachers have their own role play in nurturing each child. In this essay, I will explore the responsibilities of the parents and then the teachers in bringing up a better citizen for this society.

To begin with, parents are the sole authenticated person who should teach their offspring to distinguish good and bad around them. Certainly, for every child parents are their first role model from whom they will observe everything. By nature young minds are highly activated with sharp grasping power, due to which parents have to be cautious on their behaviour before their children. Qualities such as obeying others, being considerate and socializing cannot be expected from a structured curriculum like schools.

However, next to parents at home, as the children grow, they happen to spend more time in the school and have consistent interaction with teacher and other pupils. Therefore, the responsibility of inheriting the knowledge of interpersonal skills, problem facing tactics and identifying their talents are ultimately falls in the court of teacher. Finally children from various community and family-backgrounds gather in one place from education and admitted their future only in the hands of teacher who is definitely expected to the potential contributor in providing efficient human to this society.

As a whole, from the above said points one can easily convince that both parents and teachers are essential people who have wide range of influence in shaping up the younger generation.

MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Dec 23, 2013   #2
enthusiastic younger generation is believed to be the future heroes of the society

Children are the future leaders of society/The future lies within the hands of the young generation.

In this essay, I will explore the responsibilities of the parents and then the teachers in bringing up a better citizen for this society.

This sentence is not necessary.

have their own role to play

parents are the first and most important teachers to shape children in their early stages.

before their children

in front of their children

Qualities such as obeying others, being considerate and socializing cannot be expected from a structured curriculum like schools.

I don't agree with this opinion. Actually, every school has rules and regulations to follow and children have a better chance to socialize or make friends with their peers at school.

next to parents at home

apart from parents

Finally children from various community and family-backgrounds gather in one place from education and admitted their future only in the hands of teacher who is definitely expected to the potential contributor in providing efficient human to this society.

This sentence is lengthy and confusing, especially the part "only in the hands of teacher". Do you mean that parents are not involved in children's future orientation?

As a whole, from the above said points

In conclusion
OP Arun0506 27 / 119  
Dec 23, 2013   #3
Hi MisterWandering,
Thanks for your time in evaluating my essay and for your valuable points. Will try to make a note of them. Could you please comment on grammatical usage and essay flow. Thanks.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 24, 2013   #4
To begin with,parents are the sole authenticated person who should teach their offspring to distinguish good and bad around them.

...there are several errors in this sentence;
parents are two people, i.e. father and mother. Therefore :parents are two persons.
Also, "sole authenticated" does not mean anything relevant to this idea. It is dangerous to use words if you do not have a good knowledge as to in which situation you should use them. They would give a very wrong message. For example, smile and laugh mean very close. But, when you say "I smile at him", it means a positive gesture. However, if you say "I laugh at him" it may mean that you are sarcastic towards him.
OP Arun0506 27 / 119  
Dec 25, 2013   #5
Merry Christmas to everyone here.
Thanks Dumi and Pahan. Will take care of the mentioned corrections in my next essay.
Could you please go through the rest of my essay and let me know the grammatical error I have committed ? Thank you.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 25, 2013   #6
Merry Christmas to you too Arun!

Certainly, for every child parents are their first role modelsfrom whom they will observe everything.

... actually, there is a thing called imprinting. It is that children learn form adult behaviors and lessons taught to them, just like little ducklings follow their mother duck. Children tend to adopt values and ideals of their primary caregivers. They will unconditionally or without question accept the beliefs and teachings of their parents and then the teachers, clergy, or other adults, also older siblings. You can use this word "imprint" for this idea.


Home / Writing Feedback / enthusiastic generation; Who brings up the children: Parents or Teachers
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳