Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Being an entrepreneur has some risks and advantages, however it has more benefits than drawbacks



Fadhilahumar91 61 / 68  
Sep 1, 2016   #1
Question : Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that choose to start new enterprise better than being a worker in a company. Although, there some risk and disadvantages to make a new organization. I believe that the convenience often outweighs any drawback.

There are two main dangers and disadvantages when some people decide to work own business. The one that have risk because it need big financial capital to start it. If their organization unstable work, it will be bankruptcy. A further disadvantage is that some people have unsteady income. It means they sometimes cannot get salary because their enterprise not enough profit. Even though, try at entrepreneurship has several point in its favour.

The first benefit is people who start their business to open a job vacancy. It means that they can help others to find job and decrease the number of unemployment. Also, they can decide how much salary which reasonable for her/his and her/his worker. It can be said that they can control their company fully in compared with working in other's companies. A further advantages is that being a boss can help someone to develop his/her entrepreneurship skills for instance leadership, coping skill, problem solving, flexibility, strangeness. According to Annie Pattinson in Colorado State University found that people who start their career to be entrepreneur than a worker have leadership skill more than the others. It influence their future career as a leader.

In conclusion, being entrepreneur has some risks and advantages. However, it has many benefits than the drawback. Some people who start new companies is better than working people's business.

Iforsa 35 / 52  
Sep 1, 2016   #2
there ARE some risk risks and disadvantages to make a new organization. is disadvantages here mean unstable income? i think it is better to mention your idea directly as your theses statement so that it makes reader easy to follow your idea.

There are two main dangers and disadvantages when some ...
The one that have risk because it need big financial capital to start it. one is risk since people need big financial to start up enterprise. however, i think risk is not about big financial, big financial is about high modal.
ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Sep 1, 2016   #3
Hello Fadillah, below are my feedbacks:

First paragraph:
- Some people think that choosing to start new enterprise is better than being ...
- Although, there are some risks and disadvantages to ...

Second paragraph:
- There are two main dangers and disadvantages when some people decide to work ownprivate business.

For the rests of the sentence, you may consider the following revision of mine:

Firstly, working as an entrepreneur is usually needs large amounts of money. It aims to make the enterprise remain stable. Otherwise, it will end up in bankruptcy. Furthermore, running a private business means that one's income is not always steady. In other words, one may not get incomes because the enterprise does not make a profit. Still, an entrepreneurship may be beneficial in several cases.

Third paragraph:
- ... who start their business tocan give other people a job vacancy.
- ... fully in compared with working in other's companiesother people who work for a company .
- ... in Colorado State University,found that people who (...) leaderships than other workers who are nota worker have leadership skill more than the others .

Be careful with missing main verb, lexical choice, and the flow of the ideas. Spending extra time on reading will help you to solve your problem. Regards.


Home / Writing Feedback / Being an entrepreneur has some risks and advantages, however it has more benefits than drawbacks
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳