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IELTS WRITING TASK 2_ ENVIRONMENT



phuongmai123 1 / -  
Feb 26, 2024   #1
Animal habitats have been destroyed, and some animal species (e.g the tiger and the rhino) have become endangered. Why does this happen? What can be done to protect endangered animals?

It is said that wildlife habitats have been negatively affected and some animal species have been on the verge of extinction. In this essay, I would indicate reasons why this happens and some solutions to tackle it for animal conservation.

The main cause that has a considerable influence on animal habitats is human activities. Due to the growth of urbanization all over the world people, cut down trees to generate more land for farming and building industrial areas, which affects directly to animal's homes. For example, deforestation in the Amazon rainforest causes a numerous impact on animal species, including Amazonian jaguar and various monkeys. Another activity that threatens endangered species is that some people are keen on collecting body parts of wildlife animals such as ivory of elephants, horns of rhinos, and scales of pangolins. This increases the supply of illegal poaching and wildlife trafficking since the profit they get from selling these rare products are enormous. Besides, climate change is considered as a cause leading to the loss of biodiversity such as global warming, natural disasters and other phenomenon. For instance, rising temperatures leading to rising sea level in the Arctic could disrupt the ecosystem and force many species to adapt or face extinction such as polar bears, coral reefs, and others.

Because of the above activities, some measures are suggested to decrease its impacts. Firstly, we need to make efforts to save endangered species by raising public awareness since humans are the main reason for these consequences. For example: World Wildlife Fund( WWF) is the largest conservation organization globally which has effective campaigns to protect endangered species, conserve habitats and promote sustainable practices about environmental issues. Second solution is that the government must enact legislation related to preserving animal habitats because if there is interference of law, citizens will change their perception about protecting the natural habitat of animals. Overhunting could be declined due to the amount of fine

In conclusion, there are a variety of factors causing negative influences on endangered species, therefore, people need to take action by modifying their performances on the environment to limit these issues.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Feb 27, 2024   #2
Good work on the paraphrasing. Bad job on the writer's opinion. The writer's opinion is a TA scoring consideration that is based upon the clarity of the preliminary supporting explanation of the writer's point of view. It is not scored based upon how well you repeat the writing instructions. Although the restatement of the problem is good, the paragraph will receive a failed preliminary score because you did not give a summarized version of your opinion and discussion points.

The essay is overwritten. That is just one aspect of the problem though. There is no proper sentence development presented for simple, compound, and complex sentences. The ideas presented are difficult to understand due to the unclear thought patterns present, reducing the C+C score. This essay might not receive a passing mark in an actual test setting.
sophiemoore62 4 / 10  
Feb 29, 2024   #3
@phuongmai123
I think generally you shouldn't ask questions in an IELTS writing task 2. Each body paragraph should contain ideally 5 sentences to prevent overwriting.


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