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Ielts/Writing task 2/problems and solution/Environment


Haido29904 1 / -  
Jul 12, 2021   #1
GLOBAL WARMING IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST THREATS HUMANS FACE IN THE 21ST CENTURY, AND SEA LEVELS ARE CONTINUING TO RISE AT ALARMING RATES. WHAT PROBLEMS ARE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS AND WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS.

Nowadays, global warming has become a controversial topic in modern society. It is ordinarily believed that the ocean surface is continuously rising at an alarming rate. This essay will discuss the potential problems of global warming and conjure several solutions.

It is undeniable that climate change has caused severe repercussions to humanity and wildlife. It is effortlessly observable that the loss of habitats and rising sea level is emerging as a major threat. For example, in 2018, over 300,000 square meters of glaciers have vanished, which was the territory of over 1,000 polar bears. Thus, polar fauna is on the verge of being entirely annihilated owing to gradually diminishing habitable areas. Apart from it, climate change can lead to soil salinity, which poses significant adversities to the locals. To cite an instance, it is predicted that in 2100, Ca Mau and several other cities in the vicinity of the ocean would experience drastic soil salinity, which would make mentioned area unable to be utilized for agricultural purposes. Hence, the foreseeable famine is not a fictional vision anymore.

Regarding to the problems caused by global warming, it is wise to conjure several possible solutions. First action to resolve this issue is for the government to enact a law forcing industrial firms to purify exhausted fume before releasing into the atmosphere. This would decrease the annual carbon footprint, which is the main factor contributing to global warming. Secondly, authorities are able to fund scientific research to procrastinate or potentially nullify the detrimental effect of the rising ocean surface.

In conclusion, humanity and wildlife are experiencing the repercussions caused by climate change and global warming, from habitat loss to extinction and famine. However, these effects are reversible if proper actions are applied.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4249  
Jul 13, 2021   #2
In the paraphrase, the writer must showa connection between global warming and 7 sea levels. something like:

Global warming is believed to be a deadly threat to mankind as it directly affects ocean elevations. These combined problems cause... I believe these can be solved by...

This clearly developed representative and response paragraph will result in a better TA score with the possibility of a C + C boost if the opinion is properly explained and supported.

The problem paragraph is filled with too much establishing information, not enough discussion clarification. Limit information presentation and focus on the main point instead. One piece of relevant data is more than enough to establish the topic.

The solution fails to present a comprehensive solution that would solve global warming in relation to rising water levels. There is a lack of cohesiveness in that paragraph as the solutions presented disconnect the 2 topics in a combined solution.


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