[IELTS Writing Task 2] Environmental degradation problems and solutions.

Hello everyone,

I have just started practicing writing in order to take an IELTS test in the near future. Below is the topic that I have seen and written about. If possible, could you help rate my work and point out any errors or improvement points?

"Environmental degradation is a major world problem.
What causes this problem, and what can we do to prevent it?"

It is undeniable that recent environmental issues have been a central topic in many international discussions. Human activities are said to be one of the major causes and with a joined effort from governments and their people, measures can be taken to mitigate these problems.

Human being's constant demands for economic development and expansion by producing new products and goods have played a major part in the deterioration of the environment. To support these processes, natural resources are being unsustainably exploited at such a rapid rate that they cannot recover adequately. What is more, production at factories, together with exhaust gases from vehicles, produces a large amount of greenhouse gases and this causes serious air pollution. In addition, deforestation for farming lands and residential and industrial areas has reduced the earth's capability to absorb these poisonous gases. As a result, global warming and climate change have been pervasive over the world.

Having said that, it is not impossible to improve the current status of the environment. Firstly, households and manufacturing plants can substitute fossil fuels with renewable and green energy sources such as solar or wind energy. Furthermore, governments should promote the usage of environmental-friendly and recyclable raw materials in production processes. They can, additionally, reduce taxes for companies that contribute environmental conservation. Lastly, people should gradually switch to using electric devices such as cars and kitchen ware because these are less harmful to the environment.

To conclude, while it is clear that the environment is getting worse, there are certainly solutions that can be carried out to prevent further damage and make it better.

The essay shows your potential to give targeted responses to the given question. Being able to understand the prompt is the first step towards garnering a collection of positive scores for your overall final grade. So, the accuracy of your prompt restatement and word choices really helped you get a good preliminary score. There is room for vocabulary improvement overall as the current word usage is more in the elementary word choice bracket. Improving the vocabulary of your work, without going overboard, will also help increase your sectional scoring chances.

It is also important that you use specifics in your opinion statements, particularly with the discussion focus that you will want the essay to take. When you are asked "What causes the problem?" Do not provide a general response like "human activities". That is a response, but not a specific response. By offering a clearer response such as "Use of single use plastics is a human activity that contributes to the problem by causing...", you get a better scoring consideration in the TA section since your response is tremendously clear when the question is considered. Offer a solution immediately after that is just as clear; "The solution to this is...."

Overall, this is a good start. As an assessment tool, it tells me that you are capable of actually scoring higher than a 7 with proper guidance in terms of test preparation.

@Holt
Thank you for your assessment.

I agree that my vocabulary needs working. I, however, don't suppose word choice hints are given without further consultation service.

A lot of IELTS trainers say that the introduction doesn't need to have a very specific answer with ideas. That's the job of the body paragraphs. So based on your feedback, I am not sure about how specific I should write my answer in the introduction.

I have a feeling that if I, for example, write about "Use of single use plastics" in my answer in the introduction, my body paragraph should be focusing on this idea alone. And I don't really have enough supporting ideas for "Use of single use plastics" to make a full paragraph without additional research.