Environmental issues have always been a controversy among the world. Who should take a charge of it?

Hello! Please help me to improve my writing skills thanks!

IELTS TASK2 - Environmental problems

Some people think environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, think that those problems can not be solved unless individuals take some action. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

ESSAY

Environmental issues have always been a controversy among the world. It is argued that these problems are so complex that individuals couldn't handle it. While some think that as long as people take actions, environmental problems could be solved. The two statements will be discussed in the essay below and person opinion will be given as well.

Environmental problems such as global warming have been commonly regarded as a complicated issue for its wide range of aspects involved. It could be a discussion about science, pollution, animal extinction, and even human lifestyles. To provide a complete solution, government policies and professions from different fields are necessary, which is also the reason why there are multiple statements for a particular environmental problem. Most people do not have the professional knowledge to discuss certain issues deeply.

Some argue that there are still things for individuals could do to solve environmental problems because the main reason for these problems is usually human. As long as people change their attitude to our mother earth, take actions to protect our home, problems may gradually retard. For instance, travel by public transportation instead of a private vehicle. Little changes by people may accumulate and heal the earth.

In my opinion, I support the statement about the necessity for humans taking actions to prevent environmental problems. Not only can we change our lifestyles by doing recycles but also by attending volunteers to clean beaches. To know more about environmental issues, individuals could learn related knowledge through the internet and discuss with others. By exchanging opinions, it may gain much more attention to these significant problems.

To sum up, professions and government policy are required for a complete solution to environmental problems. However, it is also vital for individuals to pay close attention and take specific actions to benefit the environment. After all, a healthy and long lasting mother earth is a responsibility for all humans.

Hello,
Based on my perspective, I think there are some improvements that you should do

1. couldn't handle it = could not. In the academic writing style, avoid using contractions but that is good in the speaking part.
2. I think it is better in your thesis statement to mention your ideas or the reasons why those arguments exist rather than writing "The two statements will be discussed in the essay below and person (Personal) opinion will be given as well." that sentence not give any additional information or value. for example, some people believe that environmental problems have been becoming complex issues which only could be solved by approaching multi-disciplinary skills while others argue that every action from each individual matters to make a change.

3. Person opinion is not appropriate = personal opinion
4. The main reason for these problems is usually human = the main reason for these problems usually comes from human activities.
5. "As long as people change their attitude to our mother earth, take actions to protect our home, problems may gradually retard", I think the coherence will be better if you write " If people are aware of the importance of keeping the Earth, those issues may be reduced significantly.

Overall, I think you should improve your thesis statement and the coherence of the sentence and paragraph as well as the conclusion which was not delivered well.

Ronia, aside from the missing ownership reference for the first reasoning paragraph, I would have to say that you actually exceeded my expectations this time around. You clearly showed an understanding of the prompt and explained it in a manner that is understandable to most native English speakers in your opening paraphrase. Your reference to the restated discussion instruction was clear and helped to outline the discussion process that was to follow in the reasoning paragraphs. Excellent work.

Good job with showing ownership of the discussion in the second paragraph. You allowed the reader to know that this was based on the second point of view reference in the original prompt, which helped to create a cohesive and clarified discussion in the presentation. The same goes for your opinion statement. Your reasoning was acceptable and actually doable in terms of application in real life.

I would say that although your presentation could have been more complex and expanded to help with the coherence and cohesiveness of your presentation, your task accuracy was a bullseye, your grammar use was acceptable along with your vocabulary, you should only consider this the first step towards your writing skills improvement. I would like to see you keep up and improve your skills with your forthcoming essays. This time, I want you to practice using transition sentences at the end of every reasoning paragraph to help introduce the next discussion topic with more clarity. The aim is to further improve your GRA as well as C&C scoring potential.