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Do you want do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody? Work on your own!


Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 5, 2014   #1
watch?v=5ds7OaBHH-A

The lecturer explained why working on your own does not mean that it will be better then working as an employer. There are the following three reasons.

First of all, you cannot evade working with partners since creating a new business must have some people are working inside it. Consequently, It is inevitable to escape from bureaucracy. For instance, you work with comrades and you and your fellows will have different ideas. Thus, it will cause lots of conflict and misunderstanding. This directly refutes the reading passage which states that you will get rid of bureaucracy immediately after setting up your own business.

Secondly, working on your own can be really inconvenient. By way of illustration, the lecturer observes that if you catch a cold or being lazy then you can not rely on anyone. Therefore, statistics show us 75% of all new companies are failed to sustain in the first 6 months.

Thirdly, you will not get any benefits from health care or pension or insurance from the government for the reason that you work by oneself. It is still better to have a little bit than nothing in some ways. Again, this can be really inconvenient and contradicts the reading passage that stated working on your own is more beneficial.

All in all, working by yourself is not better than working as an employer because you will have to do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody. Moreover, you will obtain completely nothing from the government such as pensions and insurance and so on.

This is my first contrast essay. Thus, any strict advice would be helpful for me :D
That link contains both lecture and the reading passage x3

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 5, 2014   #2
Vns, you will need to find a way to provide us with the links so we can watch the video and read the material for your essay. Since you cannot post links directly into the post, you should place that information in a separate file and upload it to the system. That way we can retrieve the links for a simple cut and paste action in our browsers. Over all though, you have written a very good essay. Your writing style has improved immensely and your grasp of the topic seems to be becoming clearer with every essay you write. At this point though, it is kind of hard to help you edit the content of your paper because we cannot access the files that can help us do that :-) I hope you can upload the separate file soon. Just make it a .doc file and we can just copy the url into our browser. The system automatically prevents us from accessing clickable links so you need to get around the system. Use the word dot where a . would be. We will know to just replace it with the actual punctuation sign :-) By the way, if you are writing a contrast essay, you should first mention what the comparison for the contrast will be based on. That is why it is normally called a compare and contrast essay. You cannot discuss contrasts without comparing it to something else :-)
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 5, 2014   #3
Thanks, Vangiespen i cannot envision how would i have become this current me without your supports and advice;D
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 5, 2014   #4
Vns, I am always glad to be of help. I also take great joy in seeing your continuous improvement as a writer. However, I cannot take all the credit. You are the one doing the writing, I am just guiding your work :-) So keep up the good work :-) You know everyone here will be more than happy to continue guiding your development as a writer :-)

I am trying to load the video now. Hopefully it will load fast on my end :-) In the meantime, I hope you can consider my suggestion about needing to improve the content of your essay by using the compare and contrast method. A contrast essay normally finds itself accompanied by a comparison statement. So anytime you can revise the essay to contain the comparison part, just post the new version in this thread and we will help you out with the rest :-)

Before I forget, can you provide us with the essay prompt so that we can figure out if your statement is responding properly to the instructions of your professor? You know we can't effectively work without it :-) Looking forward to receiving the prompt next ;-)
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 5, 2014   #5
Vangiespen , the prompt is to contrast the arguments and examples given by the lecturer and the article.

Reading passage: The number of people in the US who are quitting their corporate jobs to start their own businesses is growing. One recent best-selling book entitled Fire your Boss! seems to reflect the growing discontent with company life. Why are so many people going into their own businesses?

One of the most frustrating things about corporate life is the bureaucracy. This is the administrative system of paperwork and red tape that keeps track of everything in the corporation. Any decision must be agreed upon by many people in different departments and levels of the company. This can be very frustrating for individual employees who want to have control over their own work. They can become exasperated when their good ideas get tied up for months in the bureaucratic machinery. Employees often long the freedom of being their own boss.

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vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 5, 2014   #6
Vns, you did a very good job on this essay. So let me just help you with the grammar problems. Since the essay prompt clearly states that you don't need to state your opinion, it will be very easy to revise or edit this essay whenever necessary :-)

First of all, you cannot evade working with partners since creating a new business must have some people are working inside it. Consequently, It is inevitable to escape from bureaucracy. For instance, you work with comrades and you and your fellows will have different ideas. Thus, it will cause lots of conflict and misunderstanding. This directly refutes the reading passage which states that you will get rid of bureaucracy immediately after setting up your own business.

- It is important to recognize that working with partners when establishing a business is quite necessary. That is why one cannot escape the bureaucracy in a work environment. It does not matter if you have different ides or conflicts, you need to learn to work together. Therefore, the argument that says one can avoid bureaucracy immediately after setting up a business is flawed.

Secondly, wW orking on your own can be really inconvenient. By way of illustration, the lecturer observes that if you catch a cold or being lazy then you can not rely on anyone. Therefore, statistics show us 75% of all new companies are failed to sustain in the first 6 months

- You should present evidence of the inconvenience of working for yourself. Something along the lines of having to multitask in various positions or the uncertainty of income should work.

- ... To illustrate, as a the only employee of the company, you cannot afford to take a sick day, or a day off in the middle of the work week because nobody will be there to pick up the slack or be responsible at the office. Since employees cannot help but get sick or feel like taking a day off, the statistics showing that 75% of new companies fail within six months of its establishment may have merits.

Thirdly, you will not get any benefits from health care or pension or insurance from the government for the reason that you work by oneself. It is still better to have a little bit than nothing in some ways. Again, this can be really inconvenient and contradicts the reading passage that stated working on your own is more beneficial.

- Working for yourself also has drawbacks in terms of employee benefits. Insurance becomes more expensive because you have to pay the total coverage expense out of your own income and social security coverage fees are also limited by your personal earnings. So it is still better to be employed in more ways than one. Specially when your social security and insurance costs are covered by employee- employer payment shares. It would seem that the reading passage stating that working for yourself is a good thing has not considered all of the important factors that makes is beneficial to be regularly employed by someone else.

All in all, working by yourself is not better than working as an employer because you will have to do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody. Moreover, you will obtain completely nothing from the government such as pensions and insurance and so on.

- All things considered, all factors point to the fact that working for yourself is not better than working for an employer. You have to do everything by yourself and cannot expect a helping hand when you need one. Your employee benefits are almost non-existent because you have to pay out of pocket for your coverage, raising the costs immensely. None of these problems exist for people who are employed by others.

Feel free to run with my version if you think you can work with it or use it :-)
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 5, 2014   #7
PLEASE DO NOT START A NEW THREAD ON THE SAME TOPIC - CONTINUE IN THE OLD ONE INSTEAD!

Modified contrast essay!

The reading and the lecture discuss about working on your own. The professor casts doubt on several key beliefs about working individually.

Firstly, the professor explains that bureaucracy is inevitable. Since to create a new business you have to have license and approval from the government and so on. Therefore, it can be really stressful. Moreover, during your work it might happen that you and your comrades have different initiatives. Hence, it can come to conflict and quarrels. In fact, your comrade can decide to quit then bureaucracy will appear. Thus, this directly refutes the assertion in the reading passage that there will be no bureaucracy working on your own.

Secondly, the professor explains that it can be really inconvenient working on your own. Since nobody will give you a hand . In other words, you cannot rely on anybody. Specifically, you cannot take a sick day, or a day off. The professor statistically inform us that 75% of new companies are failed to survive in the first 6 months. Therefore, the argument that says working alone has a better job security is flawed.

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