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exciting and colorful - ielts: doing the same thing or change?



reiichi 2 / 2  
Aug 25, 2010   #1
i'm learning ielts but my writing is quite bad. This is one of my essay, please check it for me. Thanks all in advance ^^

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing. Each though has its reasons. I will consider these different point of view as well as give my own opinion.

On one side, some people believe that they could have a good life when doing the same thing over again. Familiarity and mastery give them comfort and confidence in realizing a job or a task and the competence of having mistakes is minimal. Moreover, that kind of people who familiarize with something usually can not adjust themselves for the change. Therefore, they are afraid and may feel unrecognized or unwelcomed in the new surroundings. For example, old people always keep their prejudice and their formal lifestyle.

On the other side, many people enjoy changes in lives. They are always seeking to something new. For them, life is more exciting and colorful while doing different things. Furthermore, changing life is a great way to expand our understandings and improve the personal ability. These days, many young people decide to go abroad for their education where have different culture and lifestyle. Otherwise, we cannot deny that our life get better thanks to many changes and advances in technology, communication and transportation. Education and health care system improve and provide many benefits to people. However, change is a great opportunity but also an enormous challenge. Pollution and crime become today negative effects of change.

Overall, both view have their own merits. However, I am fully convinced that change will occur and no one can stop it from happening. So the best way deal with change is to keep pace with it.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 28, 2010   #2
"as well as" is a difficult phrase to use. It might be better this way:
...point of view and then give my own opinion. (after this sentence, give a thesis statement that sums up your whole message. Know what I mean? Put your essay's main idea "in a nutshell," and express it here at the end of the first para.

"Seek" does not need "to" after it:
They are always seeking to something new.
Example: Kevin always seeks good essays to read.

BTW, great job Cat Head!! Thanks for this work you did to help Thuy Hang!!

However, change is a great opportunity but also an enormous challenge. --- This is a good sentence!!


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