Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


[TOEFL] Every experience always gives us something to learn and keep for life



sky2586 4 / 10  
Aug 2, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences
in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for
the future. Use reasons and specific examples to support our answer.

Please review and rate the below essay..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I agree with the statement that our life seems tough at the time but those difficult experiences of life become important lessons for the future. My opinion based on the reasons that Every tough experience makes us more skilled, improves our decision making and makes us more compatible for life.

The best example of it is how babies learn about basics survival habits during their childhood. Every day comes with new challenges for them like walking, eating, etc., but those challenges of their initial life teach them important survival lessons which help them for whole life. For example, when they tried to learn walking, they stumble and hurt themselves many times. But they slowly tune their technique and learned to walk.

All inventions and experiments are based on many unfortunate observations. No known scientist has success in first attempt. Scientists try and test many specimens before they get they want. It was said that Thomas Edison tested around 10000 bulbs before inventing Light bulb. So, all the initial experiments would be difficult and frustrating for him but he searched for more options and learnt new findings with each experiment even when he was failing in his attempts and finally found break through.

Our difficult experiences also make us robust and strong unknowingly. We might be facing a toughest time of life at the time, but when we think back about those moments later in life, we feel more confident about our decisions and about ourselves. When I moved to college hostel after school, first few days were very unsettling for me because first time I was away from parent and staying with people I had not known. I had felt very fragile and emotionally distracted, but then slowly I started adjusting with roommates and built connection with them. I also became more casual and social with others, this experience increased my communication skill and social speaking skills.

Therefore, To conclude my opinion on this statement, I want to mentioned that every experience in life whether it is good or bad always gives us something to learn and keep for life. Good experiences give us good memories and bad ones teach us lessons for life.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Aug 26, 2014   #2
I think you need to fine tune your approach on the introduction. You should have introduced the issue to the reader first before expressing your view on that. The main objective of the intro is to tell the reader what you are going to write about. In this case, it is the issue and your view on that.

In the body paras, begin your body para with a reason you use to justify your opinion on the issue. Then support that reason with a specific example.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Every experience always gives us something to learn and keep for life
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳