Exploring every part of a house in search of a slots through which the air is leaking

The diagram below shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.Writi

The diagram provides about the process how air flow into and out of the house and make a heat loss in a house. Overall, it can be seen that air flow into a house from below side of the roof and flow out from roof.

Firstly, air come from many places, such as dryer vent, outdoor faucet, kitchen fan vent, electrical outlet, window, and door. After that the air from bottom side or first floor flow to the second floor. And then, in second floor there is an air come from electrical outlet, kitchen fan vent, window, and door. Together with the air from first floor, it flows to the upside into the roof.

However, heat loss happens on the roof. The process begin with the air entering the roof from second floor. After that, heat flow to the outside from bathroom fan velt and plumbing stack vent. Next, recessed lights make heat that will flow from the roof as well. In one hand, attic hatch through the chase from second floor and go outside to flow the heat.

• 
  Question
  

Hi There,

Your writing is great but there are some correction to make it better..

from many {several } places.. --> it is better to change "many" into "several" to make it more formal.

he air from bottom side or first floor flow to the --> it is better for you to choose one between bottom side or first floor.

Thanks.

Hi Mardian,
Overall, your writing is good but here is some suggestions for you.

1)"... about the process of how air..."

2) Remember that air is a singular, so the verb after it should be +s/es.
"....that air flows into a house... "
"....air comes from many places.."
and so on

3) Take a look the time connector that you use since time transition is a substantial thing to be noticed in writing a process diagram.

4) I see that the sentence you use in your writing is a simple sentence. In order to get a higher score, it's better to use the complex one.

Keep doing your best!
Thanks.