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IELTS Writing Task 2 - Family size essay

boboiboy1a3 1 / 2  
Feb 15, 2021   #1

are choosing to have fewer children or none at all

Essay topics:
Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend?

Nowadays, in developed countries, many parents choose the way to have fewer children or do not get pregnant. Is this because of their mind that they think they cannot raise their children or their background are not good enough? In this essay, I will explain why this happens and discuss that it is a good trend or not.

First of all, from the old days, our grandparents were not prosperous as we are now. They always suffered from poverty, hunger, disease, etc. Therefore, they have an idea that if they have a lot of children, in their future they will have more property and do not have to stand for difficulties. Because of a lack of knowledge and just thinking for themselves, they do not notice the consequences. At that time, the number of people increased significantly, as we called overpopulation. This lead to many bad things, such as parents do not have enough food so that many children died, because technologies are not developed. That's why in these days, they choose to have a few kids or do not have them.

On the one hand, having a few childs bring some advantages. They can be raised more easily, have better education and cause less conflict. The gap generation is also smaller because the age difference is not big. Each member in family can have bigger areas, more privacy and they can live together harmoniously. And when parents get old, their children must take care of them and they do not have to go to nursing home. In contrast, if parents do not have kids, this can bring drawbacks. Maybe they do not have to pay for many children's fees, but they will feel lonely. Also, when they are elderly, they will not have anyone to share with.

In conclusion, I think this is a good trend. Having one or two childs will fetch many pros and happiness, but parents should consider their background to think about it

P/s: Please help me evaluate this essay. I would like to know which band score I can get.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Feb 16, 2021   #2
Unfortunately, scoring is part of our premium services so I cannot score your essay. Any student who scores your essay will also find their accounts immediately suspended so don't even dare to ask students to score your essay or consider a possible score for your essay. Your account will get suspended also. The general review I will be giving you shall be sufficient for you to realize what potential score you might get in an actual test.

You should not use rhetorical questions in the prompt restatement. You are to restate the prompt using subjective topic presentations. These are the topic responses that you will be using int he 2 reasoning paragraphs. That means, you have to outline the discussion in the form of a thesis statement. Not a question, and not merely repeating what type of discussion you will be presenting. That does not give the examiner a proper overview of your English comprehension, vocabulary, and cohesion skills, which are part of the TA scoring consideration. Your restate is not effective and will not help increase your score overall.

This is a single opinion essay, not a comparative discussion. Either you think this is a good trend or not. Defend your opinion. In this case, you show that you actually do not have a clear opinion on the topic, since you decided to compare both options instead, that is another TA error on your part for which you will be losing scoring points. The presentation of your under developed personal opinion as a conclusion will further cause a problematic scoring consideration for your presentation. The concluding paragraph should be used to summarize the discussion. The opinion you have should have been made clear in the thesis sentence, then explained thoroughly in the reasoning paragraphs. These errors and problems shall pose a problem to your achieving a passing score in this test.

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