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'fertilisation in a wastewater treatment plant' - How the rainwater is reused.


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Oct 4, 2015   #1
What stands out from the diagram describes the cycling of rainwater in producing drinking water. As seen, there are two methods to produce drinking water. In any case, while the first method of retaining rainwater in the reservoir has several phases, another method only needs short process.

Regard to the first method, first, the rainwater is absorbed in the dam. After that, the water is flowed to water treatment plant and In this step, the water is processed becoming clean water. Following this, the clean water, then, is flowed into the house as drinking water. In contrast, another method shows the rain water is directly taken in a rainwater tank and then it is flowed into the house without fertilization process.

Next, water which has been utilized is sent to wastewater treatment plant to get fertilisation. Afterwards, Half of disposal water will be recylced and flowed again to the house and excess treated water will be thrown to the sea. On the other hand, Water totally accommodated inside the water reservoir directly discharged through drainage into the sea.




vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 5, 2015   #2
Aditya, you have shown improvement in your writing. Your report is easier to understand now although there are still some portions that need work when it comes to you clearly delivering your message. The introduction follows the correct format and your conclusion is acceptable. The problem, is that you have a tendency to use terms that do not apply to the process being described. Then the grammar also need to be improved through further practice. Other than that, this is a very good effort. Now for the corrections.

What stands out from the THE diagram describes the RECYCLING of rainwater in ORDER TO PRODUCE drinking water.

As seen, there THERE are two methods

THE SECOND METHOD ONLY REQUIRES A short process.

USING the first method, first, the rainwater is COLLECTED in the dam - water is absorbed by soil but is collected in a receptacle such as a dam.

the water IS CHANNELED TO A water treatment plant .

and In this step, IN THE FINAL STEP, the water is processed TO BECOME clean water.

Following this STEP, the clean water then is flowed into the house FLOWS THROUGH HOUSEHOLD FAUCETS as drinking water.

shows the rain water COLLECTED IN A RAINWATER TANK.

and then it is flowed into the house without fertilization process. IT THEN FLOWS INTO THE FAUCETS WITHOUT FURTHER FILTRATION. Fertilization is a process of creating a new being through conception either in plants or humans. It does not apply to water processing.

been COLLECTED is sent to THE wastewater treatment plant FOR PROCESSING AND FILTRATION.

Half of THE DISPOSED water will be recyCled and RETURNED TO HOUSEHOLDS WITH THE EXCESS WATER thrown INTO the sea.

Water totally COLLECTED inside the water reservoir IS directly discharged BY DRAINING THE WATER into the sea.
irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Oct 5, 2015   #3
hello aditya,, let me try to give some suggestions on your writing.
i read on your passage particularly in paragraph two, you wrote "flow" more than twice. This not good for writing academic, let reduce using of same words, try to parapharse or look for the similar words.

Half of disposal water will be recylced and ...
In this case, you wrote wrong spelling, you have to be aware with simple mistakes
Half of disposal water will be recycled and ...

thanks, hope it can helps.
OP Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Oct 5, 2015   #4
Thanks for your nice attention sir..
This is my rewriting..

The diagram describes the recycling of rainwater in order to produce drinking water. Overall, there are two methods to produce drinking water. In any case, while the first method of retaining rainwater in the reservoir has several phases, the second method only requires a short process.

Using the first method, the rainwater is collected in the dam. After that, the water is channeled to a water treatment plant and the final step, the water is processed to become clean water. Following this step, the clean water then flowes through household faucets as drinking water. In contrast, another method shows the rain water is collected in a rainwater tank and it then flowes into the faucets without further fertilization.

Next, water which has been collected is sent to the wastewater treatment plant for processing and filtration. Afterwards, Half of the disposed water will be recycled and returned to household with the excess water thrown to the sea. On the other hand, water totally collected inside the water reservoir is directly discharged by draining the water into the sea.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 5, 2015   #5
Aditya, I took note of the fact that you applied most of the corrections that I suggested to you. Now, I would like to teach you another lesson with regards to essay writing and it has to do with proof reading. Proofreading is a process that is necessary in proving your English writing and sentence development skills.

Proof reading is the method by which you review your essay so that you can catch the mistakes in the essays that you write. Either through comparison with the corrected version I gave you, or by using other means such as spellcheck, proof reading helps you catch the mistakes you made in your essay writing and gives you an opportunity to fix it before submission. You did not apply any proof reading to the revision that you did otherwise, you would have caught the following mistakes that remained uncorrected:

AND IN THE FINAL STEP, the water is processed

flowes FLOWS - use spellcheck whenever possible to confirm your spelling. When you see a red underline after you type a word, you need to double check and make sure you spelled it properly. The program senses it as a wrongly spelled word.

fertilization FILTRATION - I already explained to you that fertilization does not apply to the cleaning of water. Fertilization is a biological process of creating a life such as in plants and human beings. Water uses a filtration process. Filtration means to clean out dirt using a filter or something to hold back dirt so that only clean water is produced.

returned to households - plural form

thrown INTO the sea

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So now you know. Your writing process should be as follows:

1. Draft the essay
2. Use spellcheck to avoid spelling problems
3. Proofread to make sure you caught all spelling and sentence structure errors or, to compare the new work with the suggested revisions or the original.


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