"Fewer and fewer employment opportunities for graduated entereing the job market"

"There are fewer and fewer employment opportunities for graduated entereing the job market and this will have serious implication for higher education".
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I seek your valuable correction and feedback as I need to get band 7.

Fresh graduates today are undoubtedly facing sever competitions and obstacles to get a new job. It is understood that the impact of being unemployed even after having graduate degree on their hand is very harsh. As a result of this people may get discouraged to take higher education.

The reason why fresh graduates always find it tough to get the job is the employers pre-requisite of working experience in their related field. It is understood employer's wish that want competent and capable workforce. But, they keep their eyes blind when they should obviously know that experience would come into place when they are willing to give them a chance by hiring such graduates. A chance, where one could expose him/herself and prove his worthiness.

Other reasons is that there are less jobs in the in the jobmarket compared to previous years as the global economic recessions is hitting very hard currently. Not many more jobs are created as a result of this because the various industries sectors are slowed down and some of them are even shut down during last couple of years.

Despite these student invest their time and money on higher education hoping for a bright career ahead. It is obviously tough for a student after graduating to be unemployed and living on government allowances. This will lead to the negative experience on people about the higher education and they may not be motivated to undertake higher education. As such, the nation may be shortage of qualified people in the long run and ultimately forcing them to hire the workforce from other countries which may not be necessarily good for a nation from economic viewpoint.

To sum of the employers should trust fresh graduates by giving them opportunities and government should bring up policies and development programmes to create more job opportunities otherwise it will have serious consequences on higher education system of a country.

Hi,

I think you wrote off-topic, and this is quite serious.
The topic asks you to give reasons whether you agree or disagree with the statement: There are fewer and fewer employment opportunities for graduated entereing the job market and this will have serious implication for higher education"

So you have to write one paragraph about "why this will have serious implication for higher education" and one paragraph about "why this will not have serious implication for higher education" Then give your position at the end (last paragraph).

You shouldn't be talking about why it's difficult for graduates to find jobs like what you did in your second and third paragraphs. This is not an cause-and-effect essay.

In your fourth paragraph, you wrote: This will lead to the negative experience on people about the higher education and they may not be motivated to undertake higher education.

This is what you should write about: what negative sides? then give examples and explanations for your argument