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Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. How could this be changed?



Tom8X 1 / -  
Jul 30, 2021   #1
Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers.

Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

There is a large drop in the number of graduates applying in the field of pedagogy year on year. It is worth analyzing the reasons for this worrying trend and discussing innovative strategies to reverse this matter.

The reduction in the popularity of teaching is related to economic, and social factors, as well as health issues. Firstly, it is clear that salaries for those working in education are significantly lower than other sectors such as the finance and banking sector, or even the industrial field. Unversity-leavers are invariably reluctant to become teaching staff with accepting lew incomes while well-qualified graduates can receive well-paid incomes and higher career prospects. In addition, university lecturers and tutors are of the opinion that they no longer benefit from the respect they used to have. Their jobs had had the same social status in society as doctors, scientists, lawyers. Finally, a considerable number of academics have undergone pressure from the workload and been tired of poorly behaved students in the classes.

A range of new approaches might be used to arrest this decline. The authorities ought to permit tax-free to those working in the educational field, and give more incentive incomes to those teaching with dedication and commitment. Funding more money for schools will be hugely beneficial to head-teachers and principals, who can employ more diligent and gifted graduates. A large number of awareness-raising campaigns and events should be organized to honor talented individuals and those contributing extreme efforts in training and teaching.

In conclusion, the reasons and the ways to reverse the reduction stated earlier above. This dilemma will continue to fall unless the government takes action immediately. However, I fervently believe that civil servants will not prioritize this issue.

Please check for me. Thanh you so much.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jul 31, 2021   #2
The opening paraphrase is accurate in providing a topic interpretation. However, the writer provides a non- response to the 2 direct questions. This lack of direct response will not allow the examiner to fully assess the English comprehension skills of the writer in relation to his understanding of the questions. By not providing any responses, the writer cannot fully prove his English thinking abilities. He must completely develop his response statement next time. Do not just repeat the discussion instructions.

The reasoning paragraph presents enough reasons for the lack of interest, but the supporting statement itself is weak. The reasons are not fully developed. Each reason barely has an acceptable explanation. The transition words used are not proper either. A transition sentence or phrase for 2 related topics would have been better. The C + C score will be problematic. Less reasons, more development is required.

The authorities ought to permit tax-free to those working in the educational field

Tax-free what? What is the subject? The writer obviously did not draft the essay before writing.

gifted graduates

The writer is assuming there are numerous graduates. The premise is that graduation rates are low hence the lack of occupation popularity.
vdvelvet - / 2  
Aug 6, 2021   #3
I found some typo :
1. Low incomes
2. Their jobs had had ... = Double had

Please be careful with your writing!
chipper269 3 / 4  
Aug 7, 2021   #4
receive higher career prospect? Sounds like the verb "receive" not making any sense. You can use "improve" instead


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