IELTS TASK2: A THROW-AWAY SOCIETY
Many people say that we have developed into a " throw-away" society because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of? To want degree do you agree with this opinion?
It is true that our environment is full of waste produced from human activities that we cannot recycle or reuse in the future. I personally agree with this statement and this following essay will explain it in detail.
Firstly, over-consumption is attributed as one of the primary factor in our model society. Nowadays, citizens arre encouraged to buy a new product because it is cheaper to use and throw things away rather than reuse them. For example, electronic devices like televisions, radios, CD and DVD players, even laptops - all are occasionally thrown out since the cost that you have to pay to repair is almost two times as high as the new one.
Secondly, another factor that has added the fuel to the fire is the increase of packing companies which produce single-use products wrapped in non-environmentally friendly materials such as plastic, nylon. Indeed, dwellers are recommended to buy the new products religiously, especially the disposable ones. Because the government believe that this behavior could stimulate economy by increasing the GDP of its own country.
In conclusion, based on the above mentioned facts the throw-away society becomes among the prime element that has destroyed our environment.
Hi, please see my comments,
actually, in body 2, i don not express your opinion and youe explaination seems to be not clearly. You should you more formal words also synonyms such as instaed of using ''produce'' verb, the better way is repalce it by ''make'' or ''manufacture''
In conclusion, you should present some recommendations to solve this issue
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Never make claims about the truth of a statement in an extent essay. That is because there are people who will disagree with your opinion, that creates a false statement not implied in the original discussion. Always state the opposing opinion in your paraphrase along with the response to the question. By the way, your response lacks an extent representation or emotional response. The strength could be strongly, urgently, unquestionably, etc. There needs to be a descriptive response to the extent.
Avoid using connecting words like "because" to start a sentence. That word is used to connect ideas, phrases, and other thoughts in the sentence representation.
Your paragraphs lack clarity due to your failure to use a proper mix of simple and complex sentences. Make sure you use 3-5 sentences of various lengths per paragraph so you can meet that specific GRA requirement.
You essay, I believe, lacks words to meet the word limit requirement. Try adding one more counterargument paragraph before your conclusion.