Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 2: Finacial aid becoming the problem



Tran Hai Dung 1 / -  
Jul 8, 2023   #1
Topic:
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty.
Therefore, developed countries would give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?



It is widely acknowledged that wealthy countries are using the wrong way to help poorer countries out of poverty, they ought to figure out the right track instead of financial aid. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I would contend that finance support also has both benefits and harm

It is conceivable why some subscribe to the view that giving money to poorer countries makes the situation worse. The key rationale is that financial support is a consequence to live a sedentary lifestyle of brainstorming. Individuals in unwealthy countries tend to live with government subsidies, they depend on tiny support money to pay for everything in daily life. For instance, investigations give proof that numerous people in wealthy countries are self-conscious about expenses and aware of work,...While poor countries are not. Therefore, financial aid for poorer countries does not seem justifiable.

Nevertheless, I believe that supporting unwealthy countries with money might help them to promote their national economy for several reasons. First, money from other countries will turn into a massive motivation. This is the first step to start-up, high spirit to recover their economy and youngster have more chance to get jobs. Second, governments can invest facilities to training youngsters who will change countries future. Besides, investment by support money for human in poor countries not only enhance their knowledge but also confirm that people here are appropriate.

In conclusion, while some argues about financial aid does not solve the problem, I am convinced that support money still has more facets to which people do not pay attention.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jul 10, 2023   #2
using the wrong way to help poorer countries out of poverty

Incorrect. There was never any indication in the original prompt that the wealthy countries were using the wrong way to help the poor countries. This may be your personal opinion so it should not be stated in the first paragraph. You could however, state this as a part of your writer's opinion. It would have made the basis of your extent response more believable to the reader.

work,...While

This is a common punctuation usage mistake among ESL students. You should never use a comma and ellipses together. You can only use one punctuation mark at a time. The punctuation mark usage is separated by words, thus completing sentence thought. By using the punctuation marks simultaneously, you are confusing the reader as to what you are really trying to indicate in your writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Finacial aid becoming the problem
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳