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Is a flat is more comfortable than a house? What is better to live? IELTS2


Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 24, 2016   #1
Question : Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Right now, many people prefer to live in a high-rise apartment because they think that a flat is more comfortable than a house and have a good sense of community. Others believe that living in apartment make them feel lonely and like to live in a house. Personally, i believe that living in a house is better for people to get sense of community.

Living in a high-rise apartment means that people live in the same roof and it can increase the sense of community for the people who live in there. Many places to hang-out like lounge or gym can make people easier to find friends. Also, the occupant can follow many activities like social activity. When many participate, the energy can really make a difference to the experience of sharing life together in a community.

On the other hand, many inhabitants like to live in houses where the environment make them want to communicate with their neighbour. Most of people feel more comfortable when they can talk and visit to other houses because they are friendlier than people who live in flat. Many activities which people can participate like festival or annual event. This kind of activities make people who live in houses are know each other.

To conclude, although live in a flat have many places to meet, most of the occupant are busy people and they rarely to meet others. It is better to live in houses because the social environment feel more friendly than in flat.

Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Aug 24, 2016   #2
hi..

Many places to hang-out like lounge or gym can ... (no verb in your sentence)
Also, the occupant can follow many activities like social activity, ..... (i think when you say many activities, you must mention more than one activities )
When many participateS , the energy can really make a difference ...
...theI r houses, because they are friendlier.... (pay attention for comma in your sentence)
To concludeIn conclusion , although live in a flat have ...

thank you
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Aug 24, 2016   #3
Hi Farida, below are my thoughts on your essay.
On this essay, I believe the first and 2nd paragraph can be merged into one paragraph, this way you will be able to present a good or rather a presentable number of the essay.

Further to this essay, below are my suggestions.

- Right nowThese days , many people prefer
- in an apartment make them
- feel lonely and would like to live in a house.
- to get a sense of community.
- the sense of communityor create a harmonious relationship for the
- people who live in there.
- ManyThere are a lot of places to hang-out
- like lounge or gym that can make people
- When manythere's a lot of people who participate,

- visit to other houses because
- they are friendlier than people who live in a flat.
- Many activities whichwhere people can participate l

- liveliving in a flat have many places to meet,
- most of the occupants are busy people
- and they rarely to meet others.
- feels more friendly than in a flat.

There you have it Farida, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
Iforsa 35 / 54 5  
Aug 24, 2016   #4
Right now Recently

Many places to hang-out like lounge

Many there are a plenty of places ...
Also, the occupant can follow many activities like social activity . ( i think you should mention more than one activity because you mention many before)
When many participateS


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