Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width   Posts: 2


Focused Study vs. Multidisciplinary Learning-IELTS Writing Task 2



hasham_hawk 2 / 1  
Dec 31, 2024   #1
Write about the following topic:
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some pupils want to study other subjects in addition to their main institutional subjects while others believe that putting efforts on studying to get qualified is more important. This essay agrees that learners should also focus on the subjects other than their main institutional subjects.

Some group of pupils wants to learn about the other majors in addition to their institutional majors. They believe that if they also prefer learning about the other majors, it will be of their benefit which helps them in their personal and professional lives. I agree that the pupils should also consider learning about extra majors to develop some necessary skills that are being used in the life. For example, doing extra courses such as Communication Skills and Photography, which are not usually taught helps them having good photography skills in their personal lives and good communication skills in their professional lives.

Other group of pupils say that they should focus solely on studying institutional majors in order to get the degree and to get qualified. They believe that qualification is the most important thing for them in order to land a good job. But the truth is that, qualification is just one part of evaluation for the recruiters. They also demand from people the other skills such as communication, problem solving and analytical skills and so I disagree with this group of pupils. For instance, in the modern times, people with higher degrees still struggling landing a job and even those having just undergraduate degrees are working in top industries just because they have extra skills.

In conclusion, while doing extra courses and learning extra skills are beneficial, some still believe that they should focus on passing the degree to get qualified. However, if we focus on courses in addition to the institutional courses, the benefits are clearly positive.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15500  
Jan 1, 2025   #2
This essay agrees

The prompt clearly states that you should state your opinion on the topic. The requirement for stating your opinion is ownership. Own the point of view that is being presented by using first person pronouns. Remember, the essay cannot write itself nor does it have its own opinion. As the writer, you need to make a strong statement by properly referring to your strong stance in this paragraph presentation.

group

This is an overused word in this essay that will definitely have a negative effect on your LR score. You need to vary your word usage in terms of synonyms so that you can show a wide vocabulary range. Alternative words for group in reference to the discussion are: cohort, team of students, crop of students, batch of students, body of students, etc.

When discussing the republic opinion in comparison to your personal opinion, make sure to differentiate the points of view through proper first and second person pronoun usage.. The lack of pronoun usage affected the cohesiveness and coherence of your presentation negatively.


Home / Writing Feedback / Focused Study vs. Multidisciplinary Learning-IELTS Writing Task 2
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳