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IELTS TASK 2 about focusing on endangered animal or human problems

natalia3k 1 / 1  
Jun 8, 2024   #1
TASK : Around the world, many animal species become extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must try to solve this problem. Others believe that concentrating on problems of human beings is more important than those concerning species. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In today's world, there is a growing concern that concerted effort should be made to preclude many animal species across the globe from extinction. However, some think that current human's problems should play a preponderant role compared to those of animals. This essay will give a subtle discussion on both viewpoints before stating my own opinion.

On the one hand, there are some important underlying reasons for protecting endangered animal species. Firstly, the disappearance of some animal species will cause ecosystem imbalance which may lead to detrimental changes in animal food webs. In this way, some predators can lose key food sources or some prey animals can proliferate uncontrollably without their natural enemies. This can cause disruptions to human life as well. For example, if the natural predator of cockroaches disappears, there will be an increase in the number of cockroaches which can cause a lot of problems to human like unhygienic issues. Secondly, there may be some species that will play a pivotal role in science purposes. To clarify, many animal species have evolved unique physiological or biochemical adaptations that could hold the key to important scientific discoveries or medical breakthroughs. For example, some animal species can have a latent immunity to some kind of diseases and bacteria or have staggering genetic traits.

On the other hand, it is understandable why focusing on human problems can be more crucial. In recent years, basic human living standards have significantly attenuated with an increase in impoverished population and immigrants from war-stricken countries.Nowadays, the capitalist system has statistically proven to be responsible for a rise in the number of poor people.There are also a multitude of women, children and vulnerable old people suffering from genocide,rape and many abhorent war crime activities right now in Congo, Palestine without enough world's attention. Consequently, in the short term, it can prove more important to concentrate on problems of human race .

In conclusion, when it comes to priority, I personally think that human problems should prevail over animal ones in the short term. However, in the long term, concerted effort should be made in equal measure on both human and animal problems.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,974 4811  
Jun 12, 2024   #2
This essay will give a subtle discussion on both viewpoints before stating my own opinion.

You just lost task accuracy writing points. There is no score that can be provided for restating the opinion writing instructions. You will however, receive a score for providing your clear opinion in this section. Either state support for one of the 2 opinions or, state a unique opinion that you will be explaining in the reasoning paragraphs. Your preliminary task score based on this paragraph will not be complete. You will receive reduced points due to the incomplete response presentation.

In conclusion, when it comes to priority, I personally think

The essay will receive a failing score at this point. You cannot state your personal opinion in the concluding paragraph. It should either be combined into the 2 public opinion discussion paragraphs or as a stand alone sentence prior to the concluding paragraph. The essay is missing a summary conclusion at this point. It is will be considered open ended and receive a failing score instead.
OP natalia3k 1 / 1  
Jun 17, 2024   #3
So I should give my opinion in the introduction and summarize my points in the conclusion right. And the third paragraph I should emphasize more about why I think we should focus on human's problems ? @ Holt

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