Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Food has become easier to prepare. Has this change or improve the way that people live?



robertsheperd80 4 / 9  
Dec 1, 2009   #1
Essay about the food has become easier to prepare

please correct my toefl essay about the food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improve the way that people live?

We are living in constantly changing world. Food has become easier to prepare and some people believe that this change has improved the way people live for a variety of reasons. In contrast, others are opposed with mentioned change and believe that we loose the quality and healthy condition of food for instance. As far as I am concerned, advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this change.

As is known to all, we are living in constantly changing world. So, we must keep ourselves up to date and obtain knowledge from numerous sources. We must live with this knowledge that education and obtaining knowledge is long process that not only provides us basic skills and it is a powerful tool that can abolish nearly all problems To fulfill this purpose we must save our time and not to squander it by doing something useless such as time consuming cooking. Easy food preparing gave us this opportunity to save time and improve our lives ahead of us. For instance twenty years ago, if we wanted to prepare stew we needed three or four hours for buying, cleaning, washing and etc. but today everything is prepared and stews food preparing last twenty minutes only..

The next reason for my preference is health. There are a lot of factors such as vitamin that are considered by food factories. Prepared food is genetically modified and they will not allowed to sell until Scientist prove that they are healthy for both people and environment. This factor improve the way people live because it increases life expectancy and makes a great deal thanks to modern prepared food.

Also, we can not ignore this fact that modern food factories that are built for this generation gave a job opportunity to job hunters and unemployment people that are ready to work for minimum salary. So, in first step it might be ridiculous but if we pay attention to this fact we will comprehend that this factor interfere with the way that people live and improve their lives.

To sum up, time saving, healthy and job opportunity are all benefits that are come from mentioned source.

Thanks a million
robert

Ruah 5 / 14  
Dec 2, 2009   #2
Hello
It is a very well written essay , but there are some grammer mistakes , if you coul check your essay again I'm sure you will find them , there isn't a lot o mistakes , just few.

wish you the best :)

Ruah
P.S. can you please check my essays :)
archana_s91 2 / 3  
Dec 2, 2009   #3
Hi there!
Your essay is pretty good.but it needs a lot of work to be done.Try not to repeat certain sentences.
Towards the middle of the essay it seemed to go a bit off-track the topic as well.
I agree with ruah as it has quite a few grammar mistakes.There's nothing much I can say about this essay:D
Nice try!
good luck
Archana


Home / Writing Feedback / Food has become easier to prepare. Has this change or improve the way that people live?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳