Football World Cup and similar international sports are gathering masses of people and sports lovers

Question:
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

To what extend do you agree or disagree with this options?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your argument with examples and relevant evidence.
You should write at least 250 words.

Answer:

Football World Cup and similar international sports are massive gathering of people and sports lovers. The enthusiasm and aggression on the field is always considered as positive and within the spirit of the game. It is agreed that the sports are right alternative to show and practice patriotism. We will see how the gathering and meeting of the players and fans can impact positive relations among their nations.

A good sportsman considers challenging the opponent on the field. Many South American football playing nations played the game with their heart and soul on the field, however their players often seen partying together off the field. This shows that the mutual respect by sportsmen for each others' game and personality.

For fans it can be very positive to meet the fans of opposing team and cherish the game. Winning and losing is the part of the game and channelizing the patriotism through sports helps reducing the tension between the two teams. In 2014 many Brazilian Fans supported Argentina in the finals just because of the friendship of their players.

Mutual respect and positive fans gathering are two major reasons which are the driving factor in easing international tension through sports. Lastly it has been proved many times that the sports like football world cup helps in lighting the relationship of playing nations. It is recommended that more and more friendly matches should be played among the nations with bad relationships and tense borders to easing their International relations and to achieve ultimate peace.

PS: I am preparing for IELTS GT exam. Kindly review the above writing task.

Football World Cup and similar international ... Here is my edit;


Sports events bring world peace. As such, some people believe that football World Cup and other international sporting occasions played an important role to reinforce the relation and reduce the tension between many countries. While some people disagree with this statement, since the events cost lots money, I tend to agree because international games can be necessary for international relations and national unity.

This paragraph lacks thesis statement. It is always good to use "I" when it comes the intro. The prompt is asking you to do so


Conclusion:
In conclusion, while some people argue that world sports events waste lots money, I would claim the such events preserve relations among countries. Where possible, serious consequences of this matter should be taken into account.

Well, for me, I have place lots of confidence in the structure I suggest for IELTS students on this forum. In fact it is not something I invented or created, but a structure that I found doing some research on books

1. a concluding signal: in conclusion, to sum up, etc
2. paraphrase the thesis- simply reword the thesis given.
3. personal though; warning, hopes or fear

Hope this helps :D